Fake IDs are the key to a successful social experience in college. However, a bad one can lead you to, let's just say, a less successful social experience -- in jail. Learning the ins and outs of fake ID culture may be the determining factor between your future at grad school and your future in an orange jump suit.
I got my first fake ID when I was 15 years old. As a New York City high school student, I quickly got bored of the awkward house parties, and the failed attempts of sneaking into various sketchy bars in the Lower East Side. Three fake IDs later, I can safely say the rules of fake ID culture are worth tackling.
First off: There is a distinct difference between buying a fake ID online, with your photo, name and information (of course with a minor edit to your birth year), and buying a real ID that simply looks like you. There are pros and cons to both. Buying a fake ID online is convenient for minor events and less strict places. Bouncers look at the year, they look at the photo, and you’re in. However, if you’re trying to get into a more sophisticated bar or club, the bouncer will quickly notice that your fake ID doesn’t scan, and will either ask you to leave, confiscate your ID, or call the police. Of course this problem is avoided with a real ID that happens to look like you because they will scan the ID and see that it is valid. However, if they have some reason to believe the ID doesn’t belong to you, they will once again ask you to leave, confiscate your ID, or call the police.
Secondly: Learn how to use your fake ID, whether it was bought online or simply has a picture that looks like you. The most obvious rule is to, of course, be confident. Walk up to the bouncer, and without fumbling or blinking too fast, hand him the ID. Look him straight in the eye, talk to him, and maybe even make a joke. What you shouldn’t do is look at the ground or fidget nervously. If he thinks there is a possibility the ID is fake, he will ask you one of the following questions (ranked from most to least popular):
- What is your zip code?
- What year were you born?
- What is your address?
Basically, just memorize your entire ID. Yes, even your fake astrological sign may be put to the test. A tip for this is to take a photo on your phone of your fake ID, and on low brightness of course, have the photo open when you’re on line, allowing you to get a last minute study session in.
Thirdly: Promoters are your friends. Promoters are paid by the venue to get young people in to bars, clubs and concert halls. By meeting a promoter, you tell them the truth: I’m an underage teen with a fake ID who would like to party tonight. The promoter has connections with the venue, and will help you get past the bouncer. He or she will most probably ask for a tip, but it’s worth it. The best part about it? Promoters leave their numbers on Yelp pages for bars and clubs, so they are extremely accessible.
Lastly: International fake IDs are the new trend. Bouncers have no idea what a British or Italian ID looks like. However, they are quick to ask for a back-up, so make sure to have a revised version of passport photo copy, or an equally believable second ID, to confidently hand over. These fake IDs can also be bought online, sometimes for less money than an American fake ID!
For those of us who can’t wait until the bittersweet age of 21, fake IDs are a beacon of light, guiding us to many not-so-well-remembered nights.
