This week I returned to my home away from home. This time it was different, though. I was leaving something at home that I hadn't had to last year. This something was a loving, kind, selfless something. A something packaged in the form of a man with brown hair and green eyes. Eyes that could make you smile and feel butterflies just by looking into them. Hair that practically begged for you to run your fingers through. And a heart. A heart that loves me just as much as my heart loves him.
So yes, this was difficult and the hardest thing I have ever had to do. As I was having a hard time dealing with this, I received a text from my mom that said, "Faith is trust without reservation." This simple statement has been the recitation stuck in my head ever since I watched them pull away and leave me here. I whole-heartedly believe that God brought me here to this dainty, beautiful place known as Anderson University to work towards fulfilling His will for my life but I also believe He brought me that brown haired, green eyed something after years and years for praying for the man He wants me with.
After countless conversations with that sweet soul I love so much, we have come to the realization that this is what's good for us. No, this is not the path we would have just necessarily chosen, but His path is greater. This is what God has given us because He is working on making us stronger. He is working on our love and devotion to each other and He is working on our love and devotion towards Him. We are by no means perfect, please don't take this as that is what I am saying. What I am saying is that we have both decided that our Creator has this incredible plan for our lives and our future and we will be better in the end for this time we have to spend apart.
There were moments this week I couldn't manage to get out of bed. There were moments when I wanted to quit and go home. But then I would think "Faith is trust without reservation."
We all claim to have such faith when everything is going OUR way. But how many times do we lack faith when things are going HIS way? We always think in the back of our minds "God, don't you think this would be better?" or "Why are you making me walk this path?
This path is the path for you. It is the path that God has designed for you. It is not a path you design for yourself. It is one you follow in order to glorify the Kingdom, one you will be rewarded for in the long run.
As I have had so many reservations this week about being here and being away from the man I love, I have realized that with reservations you aren't trusting the Lord and HIS plan. It seems as if I trust Him for a minute but then I try to take it back, and that's not how it works. Give it to Him and let Him keep it.
Let Him work it out.
I can honestly say I know I am supposed to be here fulfilling His purpose and I can also honestly say I know I am with the man I am supposed to be with. This won't be the easiest path, but it is not always the easiest path that is the right one. But we are on the right path to glorify our Creator.
Faith is trusting in the unknown and believing in the unseen. Faith is submitting your control of the situation to the One who created the situation to begin with. Faith is trusting in what you know is true and right, even when it is hard. Faith is releasing your doubts.
This time in our lives can be one of such uncertainty, but oh, will the blessings come flowing when we trust and believe our Father and the plan He has laid out for our lives.
