We live in a society that tells us our value is based on our achievements.
My entire life I've equated how well I've done in school, at work, and in my extracurriculars with how well I'm doing in life, and how much I matter.
I thought if I wasn't getting A's or wasn't a student leader than I didn't deserve love, because I became conditioned to the praise and attention that came with being good at something.
Being praised for all the good things I was doing made all my insecurities fade away because I knew that people saw me for all my achievements, and not for all my flaws.
When I came to college I saw that the emphasis of what mattered wasn't on being a good student, it was on ones ability to do it all. Being able to balance class, work and social life made you someone to admire and that's what I wanted to be, so I drove into being as social as I could and became a leader on my campus.
I beamed from the praise not only from my family but from my peers and it was like I couldn't get enough.
I had to be doing everything on campus to set me apart because I truly believed that my self worth came from my achievements and the number of things I could juggle.
But that isn't true.
You deserve to love yourself with no conditions.
You shouldn't have to feel like you have to jump through hoops just to like your own reflection in the mirror.
You only have one life and you need to live it for you.
Do what makes you happy and stop doing what doesn't.
If you find yourself feeling the way I did it's time to re-evaluate your life because you're the only one holding yourself back from living.