People make mistakes all the time. They have grand and bold visions that were a little too grandiose. This is all perfectly fine; it's what being a person is about. We fail.
The problem is that when we get our identity tied up in what we are doing so much that we worry that any kind of failure will then say something bad about us as a person. It's a fear of taking responsibility, of admitting that we might have messed up. It's the sunk cost fallacy.
It might feel as if you've been betrayed and everything you have done is for naught. It is about saving face in front of other people even if it is your family and friends: Why is this happening to me? How do I save this and prove to everyone I'm as great as they think?
You've seen this. You've done this. Fighting desperately for something we're only making worse.
We think that embarrassment or failure is more than what they are. History is full of people who suffered abject humiliations yet recovered to have long and impressive careers. Politicians who lost elections or lost office came back to lead after time had passed. Actors whose movies bombed, authors who got writer's block, celebrities who made gaffes, parents who made mistakes, entrepreneurs with faltering companies, executives who got fired, athletes who were cut, people who lived too well at the top of the market. All these folks felt the hard edge of failure, just like we have.
Failure can bring so much to learn about ourselves and how we work. Each time you bounce back from problems and rise above obstacles, you will grow mentally stronger.
Failure is not a sign of personal incompetence. It's just one experiment that has gone wrong.
And yes, sometimes, the failure is just on you but that is ok. You need to build and learn from it and continue forward.
Sometimes, it is just not your fault. Something happened and it was out of your hands and you failed. Does this mean that you can move on and not blame yourself for it? No, that is really hard to do. All of us take failures really personally. I feel that when I do fail, it is something that I dwell more on which is just not true if I achieve something and succeed.
Sometimes, it is not in your hands. You can learn from it and become better but you do not need to mentally berate yourself about it forever.
From the outside, it can look as though a company or a person has achieved overnight success, and this is especially true when big achievements come at an early age. Still, overnight success is largely a myth. It's worth remembering that you probably don't know the gory details of the story.
Trust me: that Instagrammer with the seemingly perfect life has also spent her fair share of nights crying and staring at the ceiling, worried out of her mind about money, life, and love. It's just part of the human condition.
