I lay in the dry grass and enjoyed the prickling sensation against my shoulders. Following the clouds with half closed eyes, I spotted books, animals, mythical creatures and even resemblances of scenes that I could only imagine the gods would understand. I associated the fluid images with events in my life that were a combination of triumphs and failures. Sometimes it is hard to move away from the constant idea of what classifies as a failure and a success. What do we really see for ourselves when we go through events that may or may not fall in these categories? How do we deal with such events and how can we move forward from the gut twisting feelings if we haven’t lived to our full potential?

Whether we are still in school, gunning for a new promotion, or even challenging ourselves with weight loss and health goals, we have all felt the twinge of defeat when the outcome falls short from what we have expected.

Personally, I have felt as if I have failed more times then I have succeeded. I have taken much longer to finish my Bachelors degree then intended and much longer than the average time it takes. Yet, here I am stilling working towards it. Failure is never final.

I also have quit many jobs that I did not like and that didn’t seem to have a career opportunity. I would spend just enough time with each one to ensure that it doesn’t look too horrible on my resume. Currently I am working towards my insurance licenses and have unsuccessfully repeated each test a couple of times. With it taking so much time and money, I have debated if it is worth it. But, I am still here looking for that special job that can be turned into a career. Failure is never final.

Weight loss and overall health is another topic in which I have had a plethora of successes and failures, yet I still continue to strive to be the best I can be on a physical and health scale. I am not alone in this particular challenge and I have seen more and more people taking the initiative to shed weight, gain self-esteem and improve their overall health for a long-term purpose. Failure is never final.

Whenever I have this gut wrenching feeling that I have not lived up to my full potential, I take a mental 5-step process that I encourage others to do as well:

1. Breathe!

Everyone feels this pain and embarrassment and its healthy to actually feel it. If you feel like screaming, crying, silently pouting or even being an introvert and drinking a full bottle of wine, then that is ok, just be safe. However you want to cope with it is ok. Just allow yourself to do it.

2. Don’t dwell on the negative thoughts!

It may be hard to get away from these thoughts after you feel like you haven’t done so well. Allow yourself time to feel it, but know when it is time to get over it.

3. Devise a game plan.

You may not want to try everything again in fear that it still wont come out the way you want it too. For example, I do not want to take another insurance test, but I will push myself because I want a different outcome. So scan the books, hit the gym, or probe through the help wanted ads and figure out a motivational strategy to keep going.

4. Set a deadline.

It makes it much harder to let yourself down when you motivate yourself with a deadline. Don’t go crazy and put it out too far because you have added time for slacking, but give an accurate timeline in which you can actively be productive and set yourself up for success. Also, don’t make it too small to avoid burning yourself out entirely.

5. Support to try again.

It’s easy to say you are going to continue and try again when you are alone. Find your’ most reliable and trust worthy friends and have them help to motivate you. Be specific when picking too. You don’t want Debbie downer in the corner telling you its ok to give up. Its not!

All of this is easier said then done, and there will be time that you will accept the loss and move forward. That is ok, but if it is something that is truly important and will help you grow as an individual, then don’t give up. Just remember, Failure is Never Final.