I was almost one more step away from finishing on pursuing my dreams, but all of the sudden, I lost everything. I have always dreamed of finishing studies on time, but at the same time I feared entering college life for some reason. When it was about time to finally face the reality of life, I started experiencing stress, sleepless nights, anxieties, or sadness whenever I had bad grades. I used to fear failure. I used to hate seeing myself in the lowest part of life while somebody else are already successful. I got used to having good grades until I saw myself going on a wrong direction from where I was heading.
I put all my efforts just to have good grades. I used to say to myself that “I must have good grades” because I do not want people judging me. “I must finish on time” because I do not want people looking at me like I have no goals in life. Insecurities almost put me down and that is one of the reasons why I used to hate failure.
I finally got accepted to pursue my dream job in life. I could not explain my happiness and I know everybody felt the same way like I did. I had a lot of big expectations from myself and even to my studies. I had so much confidence that I thought I can just do it easily. I did not even listen to other people that I should give everything I could because it is a difficult ride before I get there, the success itself. However, throughout that journey, I saw myself slowly going down to the bottom part of my life. I started comparing myself a lot to others. And it was hard for me to accept the fact that I am going to fail and that I am going to lose that opportunity to graduate or finish on time. But then I woke up one day realizing that I already failed.
I almost settled myself with my belief that maybe this is not for me or maybe I was born to be a failure. However, if God gave me a chance to experience that kind of opportunity, therefore, it was just a test and a lesson that I should not give up that easily. Someone once told me, “If a door closes, another door opens.” And it is up to us if we take that another opportunity to just keep on moving to strive hard in life. As mentioned earlier, I put all my efforts just to have good grades. Thus, I should put all my efforts to stand up once again and to keep moving forward.
This experience is not just for studies but also to everything that we face in life. It could be handling friendships, relationships, family issues, and so on. Our journey does not end up to where we fell down once, twice, or thrice. Our journey goes on until one day we will just going to realize that WE ALREADY MADE IT.
