Growing up is hard, really hard. Children are some of the meanest people on the planet. They know how to verbally break you down and point out flaws that you are self-conscious of. This can be especially easy for them when that flaw is on your face.

When I was about 6-years-old I developed vitiligo on about half my chin and down my neck. Vitiligo is a pigment deficiency where your skin turns bleach white. Other than the discoloration there aren’t any other side effects and it doesn’t cause any problems, other than needing constant sunscreen when outside.

There was one other side effect though, it became the low hanging fruit for any childhood bullies. Until I was about 10 I was really sensitive about it, nobody wants to be the different one at that age. Kids would make fun of it and adults were even curious about it, thinking it was a scar from some accident. I would easily get upset whenever anyone brought it up. It was like that until about fifth grade.

I was asked about it by yet another adult one day and I just didn’t want to deal with explaining it. I told her it was a tattoo. Clearly dumbstruck by a child (who wasn’t even in middle school) adamantly insisting he had a face-tat, that adult actually argued with me. I didn’t break character though. I told her that I liked milk so much that I got a tattoo of it dribbling out of my mouth and I was thinking about doing chocolate milk coming out the other side too. From then on, I stopped looking at the birthmark on my face in a negative way.

Going to high school is a big transition for any kid. You meet a lot of new people at once and sure enough, all those new people ask, “So what’s the deal with your face?” or might be politer and say “Do you mind me asking what happened?” Usually, I would just explain what vitiligo is, but sometimes I would mess with them and say something like, “It’s a scar from an explosion in Vietnam where I saved my whole platoon.”

When I was a kid I thought that I might grow a beard one day to cover up the vitiligo to hide it. I found out when I was about 14 hiding it with a beard wasn’t an option. I can grow a beard and usually have a short one these days, but it actually makes it more noticeable. Why? Because the hair grows in bleach white, not grey, white.

Growing a beard like that brings a lot of attention. I have had strangers come up to me out of nowhere and ask about it. I usually explain it now and don’t mess with anyone by giving them fake stories of where it comes from. I sometimes even enjoy the bit of attention now because I know how it makes me stand out in a crowd. If you’re going to ask about it though please don’t stare for 15 minutes trying to build up the courage to ask. I can almost always tell when people are sneaking peaks and trying to figure out how to ask. Sometimes I will beat them to the punch and just explain it before they even ask.

Everyone has traits they might be self-conscious of when they are kids. It’s important to not let those traits define you in a negative way. Do what you can to to build a thick enough skin and use them to your advantage. Not everything gets easier when you get older, but not caring about something you can’t change sure can.