Kayden: That is the name of the kindest, strongest, most incredible person I have ever met. He has the ability to make any day better and always knows how to make someone laugh. He made a lover out of the fighter that is my father. He made my mom realize that we don’t need to spend three hours cleaning the house before someone comes over. The people you want to be around are the ones that don’t care if there are a few dirty dishes in the sink. He is the son my dad has always wanted, the friend I have always needed, and the best role model for my younger sister. There is not one bad thing that I can say about him. I haven’t met anyone that can think of something negative to say. He brightens the lives of everyone he meets.
When I first met Kayden he was Kiersten, and he was a she. The name and pronoun may have changed, but the person hasn’t. He is and has always been kind and caring and brave. He has the ability to change the people around him for the better and has made sure everyone around him was always happy and comfortable. I cannot imagine how tiring it must be, but I don’t think that it has ever affected him. He has never allowed a world full of anger and cruel people to make him hard (though I would not blame him if he did). He is superman, and he has no kryptonite.
Kayden came into my life through lacrosse. We spent our summers traveling the east coast and hanging out with some of our best friends. We ate more food than one person should and laughed so hard our stomachs hurt. I met him at a time when life was hard and girls could be cruel. Despite all of that, my teammates were my family, and he was the glue that held our team together. He came to lacrosse practice with a smile, and everyone left with one because he was there. He brought cookie cake on birthdays and made sure everyone knew that we all needed each other. I have watched him become the incredible person he is today, and I am so honored to have that opportunity. He has changed my family for the better, and I cannot thank him enough.
When my dad first met Kayden, he knew right away that that was someone he would go to bat for. There was no question in his mind that he would do whatever Kayden needed, whenever he needed it. My dad believes that there are good people and there are idiots, and as long as you are a good person you can do what you like. This, however, hasn’t stopped him from expressing some of his snap judgements about people’s life choices. He is a man from a generation where boys loved girls, and you are what you are born as. But with Kayden he was different. It didn’t bother him that at the time he was a girl who loved other girls. To my dad, Kayden was perfect no matter whom he loved. When Kayden came out as transgender, the only comment my dad made was, “What if I get her name wrong—oh shit, his name wrong?” My dad wasn’t worried that Kiersten was now Kayden or that she was now he. He was worried that he would offend his favorite person in the world.
Now why did I spend so much time talking about my dad? Well, Keith is my favorite person in the entire world, but he can be quick to form an opinion and doesn’t always accept the actions of others. I am not saying that my dad is mean or judgmental, just that he is human and can forget to filter sometimes. I think we all can. So when Kayden first became Kayden, I expected more questions, I expected the man that I knew and loved. Instead I got a different man, one who didn’t question the decision, just how the whole process was going to happen. He saw the person he loved as the person he has always loved. I think that is a true testament to Kayden. If someone can stop the questioning of a man who always questions, then what else can he do? If we ever want to live in a world where a person is a person no matter what, then we need Kayden to be the one to end the comments.
When we all had questions, Kayden had answers. It didn’t matter what we wanted to know; as long as we asked respectfully, he answered. I am so grateful for that. This whole process is confusing, but if you really care about someone, the way that my family cares for Kayden, you should want to learn more about it. He had patience with my dad, who asked any and every question he could think of about the community my dad was now joining with Kayden, and about the transition we are all about to go through. As Kayden has said to me, “It is a transition for everyone.” I think that sometimes people forget that when you are a part of someone’s life as they change, you must change, too.
I hope that I can help to make my favorite person’s journey a little easier in any way that I can. Kayden is the one person in my life that has never brought negativity, and I don’t mean that he doesn’t have bad days, I mean that he has never hurt the people around him. His bad days are his, and he never uses them as an excuse to make someone else’s day bad. Being transgender cannot be easy for anyone, but I think that we all need to do our part to help the ones we love get through this journey. They are so strong and brave, but everyone needs a little help. I really hope that I can help Kayden through his journey, because I truly believe that he is going to be someone that can change the world. He will make this rock we live on as loving and accepting as he is.
