There's no doubt that it is a struggle to be an outgoing introvert. You have to balance talking to people with recharging through alone time. You can talk to anyone, but may get tired halfway into the conversation.
I've read the article that has been going around about life as an outgoing introvert. I do not relate. It took me awhile to figure out why, but I've finally figured it out. I'm an extrovert with anxiety.
First, it's important to outline the main difference between extroversion and introversion. Extroverts get their energy from being around people and feel drained when they spend too much time alone. Introverts get energy from being alone and lose it from overdoing it in social situations.
I used to think I was an introvert. I don't really go out that often and socializing makes me nervous, especially around new people. I have trouble asking my friends to hang out because I don't want to bother them. However, the more time I spent alone, the more tired and sad I would feel.
This is when I knew I was an extrovert. But when most people think of extroversion, they think of loud people that aren't afraid of anything. They are outgoing and always up to hang out no matter what.
I am definitely not that. But it's not because I'm introverted, it's because my anxiety stops me from speaking my mind like the stereotypical extrovert. It's because sometimes I am scared to go out and meet new people - not because I don't want to.
It's pretty sad when you think about it. I need to be around people. I need to interact and feel connected. I love that connection. But my anxiety keeps me from interacting and speaking my mind when I want to. I overthink and doubt myself about everything. In the long run, this damages my extroverted soul.
But the main point is that introversion and extroversion are not black and white. They are not synonyms for shy and outgoing. Neither one is all good and all bad. No one can identify as either 100 percent of the time.
I wish that I had known earlier in life that I needed to fill my life with people to feel full and happy. I wasted 19 years of life thinking I was an introvert - shutting myself away to "recharge" when it was just making me more drained. It was all because I had been labeled as shy my whole life. I might be shy, but I am no introvert.
If you know someone like this, it's best to reach out. They might be quietly suffering because they're too nervous or ashamed to come to you themselves. The best thing to do is to spread the word. Extroverts don't have to be loud and introverts don't have to be shy. It's an endless spectrum. Don't confine people to fit the stereotype.
