This post is being fueled by my anxiety as it’s being written, as I sit here and try to think of what to say in order to explain anxiety to someone who doesn’t suffer from it or has never dealt with it before.
Anxiety is a very broad term that encompasses an array of other disorders such as Panic Disorder, social anxiety and even Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. But my anxiety is incredibly generalized, just like 3.1 percent of the population.
Explaining anxiety to someone who has never dealt with it before is like talking to a brick wall. It’s as if everything you’re saying is going in one ear and directly out the other, yet whoever you’re explaining it to still has some quick-witted, snarky response about the issue you’re explaining; something that they have absolutely no idea about.
“Just stop worrying.”
“You have nothing to worry about.”
“Anxiety is completely made up in your head.”
“Stop thinking about it; you’ll be fine.”
Stop. Stop telling me these same old phrases I, along with other anxiety-sufferers, are absolutely tired of hearing. Stop telling me to stop worrying and stop telling me that my anxiety is made up. I understand that the things I’m worrying about are completely irrational, but my anxiety is not made up. It’s there. All the time. Every day.
I’m a very social person, I get along with essentially everyone I meet, but my anxiety has kept me from going out and being social on more occasions than I can count.
Anxiety is the voice in my head telling me to attend social events, but what if I go out and people don’t like me? It’s the voice in my head telling me to step up and lead my team in class, but what if someone could do a better job than me? It’s the voice in my head telling me to apply for a job, but what if I don’t get it? Anxiety is even the fear of publishing this article, worrying that people will criticize or judge me for it.
“If I do [activity], what if [issue] happens?”
Anxiety is over-analyzing and overthinking, and an anxiety attack is the rapid heart rate and the feeling of not being able to breathe when that over-analyzation becomes too much to deal with.
Once an issue is in my head, it stays there until I find some other way to calm my mind down. Once the anxiety sets in, I run with it. My mind never stops moving. Living with anxiety is living with an almost-constant fear that something could possibly go wrong, no matter what the situation is.
Now, as with anything, there are good and bad days. Some days, my anxiety is completely calm and I can go all day without having to really deal with it. Other days, my anxiety is so crippling that I barely want to get out of bed. Regardless of the day, I push on. I’ve dealt with anxiety for so long that I know it will pass and I’ve become almost a pro at dealing with it.
I understand that anything can trigger my anxiety and there’s no way of knowing what that trigger will be. I understand that the things I worry about are most likely irrational. I also understand that most people have no idea what they’re talking about when it comes to anxiety, especially those who have never dealt with it.
My anxiety is real and it’s there. I understand how to calm myself down, I know and know what works to keep my mind from running away from me, but anxiety is much more complex than simply worrying about something. It’s crippling, numbing and can easily take over a person’s life.
I am tired of hearing the opinions of someone who doesn’t understand what I, along with millions of other people, are dealing with. So please, stop telling me to stop worrying.
