As you St. Louis natives are aware of, Cardinal Baseball games are one of the best activities to do any day from April to October. Not only are there always cheap tickets available, but according to ESPN.com Busch Stadium has the second highest attendance for 2016 (over 2,800,000).

These games are always full of hilarious kiss cam moments, a loud roar of everyone taking part in singing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game”, mascot races and crazed fans diving for tee-shirts launched by the well-known Fred Bird.

I was just at the game on last Friday, and my friend and I had some good seats for only $15. The best part about it though, was that we sat directly in front of those typical “old men watching baseball”. You know what I mean, people.

There are always those guys at the game. I had the great pleasure of being right in the mix of their seemingly stereotypical conversations. So, I decided to keep track of the many quotes these men said so I could share them with everyone for proof of those guys at the baseball game.

1. The ‘sixth sense’ quote:

“Did you hear that? Home run. All I heard was the crack of the bat. I didn’t even see it. Just knew the sound.”

2. ‘Not good enough for me’ quote:

(After receiving a small statue of Lou Brock as a give-away) “I don’t want that little statue in my car. I thought it was a bobble head! If I get in a car accident it’s gonna swing back and kill ya.”

3. The true know-it-all quote:

“He is an American league pitcher (referring to the batter). . . He dodn’t even know how to bunt.” (scoffs) . . . The batter then lays down a good bunt.

4. The very inaccurate depth perception quote:

Player hits ball… “GOODBYE” (insinuating that it is a home run)… The ball is then caught nowhere close to the home run wall.

5. Mere confusion quote:

randomly… “OH YEAH BABAY.”

6. Another true know-it-all quote:

“This guy is definitely way too slow” …runner then steals base.

7. The ‘don’t reveal that you were truly not good at baseball as a child’ quote:

“So, did you play? Oh yeah, I played.” … end of conversation.

8. The batting coach quote:

“If it is a 3-0 count, that is a full green light, right there.”

9. Bringin’ back the oldies quote:

“Gaylord Perry was the spitter back in the day.”

10. One more know-it-all quote:

“Now this pitcher knows how to bat. Look at that stance” …batter then strikes out looking.

So, this is just a small taste of one night at a game while being able to have a front row experience next to those “expert fans”. Truthfully, it is hilarious and makes the game a lot more fun when you have brilliant commentators right behind you.