Bored of showing off a cat or dog? Well, time to step it up! No, not with a parakeet. No, not with a leopard gecko. No, it's truly and totally time to pull out the big — pets that will leave your guests open mouthed in awe, grimacing in disgust or running in fear! Let's get into it!
1. Camel
Wanna spice up your backyard? Add in a camel! Camel are like horses mixed with alpacas, except it's really hard to ride them. They spit on you and bite if you're not taking good care of them, they kick like hell and they are difficult to care for! But hey, at least you have an unlimited supply of camel fur and milk! And you can charge the neighborhood kids to ride it! (Until he bites some bratty toddler, and you get sued.)
2. Madagascar Hissing Cockroach
Like creepy crawlers but don't want anything that bites? Look no further! Here we have the thankfully flightless, huge Madagascar hissing cockroach!
Sure to freak out your friends and family with both their sound and size, these are the perfect pets for people are are absolute sloths and want to put literally no work into a living creature, like absolute monsters! But don't forget to feed it too many times. These guys do best in small groups, but they might cannibalize each other if they get to hungry. And after that? Say hello to a roach infestation like no other! These guys are little insect Houdinis!
3. Seahorses
Want something that can't kick, bite or escape? Try a seahorse! It can't attack you because it's a fish, and if it tries to escape, it'll die! Of course, it can die in many other ways. Water temperature a few degrees off? Dead! Feed them one shrimp too many? Floating belly up! Salt in the water too much or too little? Smelling up your room with seahorse carcass! Just bored? You guessed it. It's a miracle these delicate daises survived in the wild. Or maybe, just maybe, they shouldn't be pets....no. That's ridiculous! Enjoy your future corpse!
4. Venomous Snakes
Everyone loves a good snake, but some people get bored of little ball pythons and corn snakes, right? I mean, they easily slither over your hand and have no desire no snap at you unless you try to stab them?! What is this, Disney Junior?! Let's up the wow factor with some of the big boys. Venomous snakes, vipers especially, are absolutely amazing and gorgeous snakes, sure to bring you some attention, such as the Eyelash viper, featured above. Look at those beautiful colors! Never mind snake bites kill over 90,000 people a year and that many snakes are great escape artists. Think of the gasps! Like your dying breath gasp!
5. Burmese Python
Okay, okay. Maybe venomous snakes aren't the best idea. But bigger is better, right? So say hello to the Burmese python! Non-venomous, these bad boys are generally very peaceful, and are doing a great job in Florida, so you know they have a pioneer spirit!
Hope you have a big house. Burmese pythons can reach up to 23 feet and can be as thick as a telephone pole. And they pack quite a bear hug, as they killed their prey by wrapping around their prey and squeezing them until they die. And, well, they have been known to attack their owners, but...hey! If these guy gets a bit much for you, just drive on down to Florida and him loose so he can be with his buddies and keep decimating the native wildlife of Florida!
6. Macaws
Everyone loves the iconic pirate parrot, and imagine your friends when they hear your pet sing and talk! Never mind that these birds need constant stimulation, or they start to self harm by tearing out their feathers. Never mind they cost hundreds of dollars each year in food, toys and vet visits. And never mind these birds might outlive you, getting to 85 years of age in some cases.
7. Iguana
Let's go back to the reptile world one last time and hear it for the ever popular iguana! You've likely seen it in chain pet stores, giving it the award for the easiest animal to get on our list! Iguanas need a full roam of the house and need their own room for themselves to get up to uninterrupted iguana shenanigans, so forget a guest room! Imagine mom's reaction when she has to sleep on the couch but Larry the lizard gets a whole room to himself!
Besides that, iguanas get highly aggressive around mating times and turns a bright red and attacks without being provoked. Big deal, right? It's not like it's venomous. But it's got a mouthful of bacteria that is itching to try and argue otherwise. And when they bite, they bite. Iguanas bite in a death grip and twist, ripping away huge chunks of flesh and then going straight at it again. And even if they don't bite, they can tail whip with the force of a wooden baseball bat. They also need a varied diet and a lot of toys and attention. But hey, you get a literal Godzilla in your house, so that's cool, right?
