To the girl who never feels like she is enough.
Dear you,
I see you.
I know you.
I've been where you are.
I know what it feels like to have that voice in the back of your head saying
"You aren't pretty enough.”
"You aren't funny enough.”
“You aren’t smart enough.”
“You aren’t thin enough.”
Trust me, I know what you're going through. I've been there. Those late nights when your thoughts seem to be eating you alive, the constant tearing yourself apart inside wondering what you did wrong, and feeling alienated from friends because they "just don't understand." I have been you. I am you. You don’t feel good enough. You care about what others think of you more than anything. Mistakes? You don’t make those, or at least you try to convince everyone, including yourself, that you don’t. You fear being imperfect. You have a fear of not being good enough. You don’t possess the self-worth that you deserve.
As we grow up through life we interact with and meet more people than we can probably keep up with, so why as human beings do we seem to hold onto the bad interactions we have with others? Why do we seem to let the foul, hurtful words of someone else lay restless in our minds? Always remember that the only opinion that really should matter is your own. You need to become the person that YOU want to be. Sometimes, that may be difficult; sometimes, we are our own worst enemies.
Everything you've ever done in your life has been enough. The problem is this: when we feel like we aren't pleasing other people, we start asking what's wrong with ourselves. We don't look at the friendship or relationship and ask what's wrong with the situation. Instead, we wonder if just maybe things would be different if we hadn't been too loud or if we had smiled more or if we had just tried a little harder.
At some point we have to realize it's not about any of that. It's not on us. Everything about who we are is good enough -- but if we can't be good enough for ourselves we will never be good enough for other people. The root of every relationship, friendship, situation that makes us feel inadequate is a direct reflection of our insecurities. The things we look at in ourselves that make us feel like we don't measure up to where we should be are the things that make us feel inferior in all aspects of our lives.
I think the thing we struggle with the most has a lot to do with the high expectations and standards that we have for ourselves. Sometimes, those standards are the problem. Striving for perfection isn't wrong, but expecting that one day you will get there is. Perfection does not exist and it never will. Perfection is in the eye of the beholder. Perfection, to one person, may not be perfection to another. If you strive to be perfect in everyone's eyes you will feel as if you only do wrong and that is because in a way you are. It's impossible to always make everyone happy. It is important to make yourself happy and strive to be the best version of yourself that you can be.
There are things in my life that I haven't even attempted because I feel so inadequate compared to the possible competition. But here is the biggest secret: when we stop looking at life as a competition and start looking at it as a venue for us to grow and develop to become the best versions of ourselves, we stop feeling inadequate. When we realize our lives and relationships aren't meant to be founded and built on competition, we release ourselves from the fear of inferiority that holds us back.
Stop letting that little voice in the back of your mind get the best of you You are good enough because you exist. Simply existing is what makes you special, and what makes you worth more than you could ever imagine. People love you. People love your smile, your laugh, the way your voice sounds. Stop feeling like you have to live up to other people's expectations.
Let me let you in on a little secret: you will grow. Be patient. It may feel like your whole world is crashing down and falling apart, but when people tell you, "it will get better", believe them. I know it is such a cliche saying but it is the truth! Though it might not be what you want to hear, they are telling the truth. In time, you will learn what you need in order to be happy, and you will begin to feel better.
YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!
Sincerely,
The girl who understands.
