The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and you’re inside finishing that assignment at the last minute even though you’ve had more than enough time to do before now. But you didn’t do it, and you don’t know why.

And it’s not just assignments, it’s opportunities to learn and grow in general. It’s learning a new language, it’s studying abroad, it’s talking to that guy or gal who makes you blush when they walk through the door. It’s not doing all you’ve ever wanted until it’s too late and you don’t know why. Are you scared of failure? Worried about impossibility? Why do we consistently do the opposite of what we know we want to do in our lives? Maybe we are afraid of success.

Recently I had a talk with my parents about my future that opened my eyes to a new idea. We have had similar conversations about possible careers and responsibilities, but we never really saw eye to eye. My ammo in the argument was they wanted me to be something I’m not. I wanted space to “find myself” and “pursue my passions” in life, but I had no way to back up my methods for doing so, and hence was shot down by their rebuttal on a need for “financial stability” and criticism on my lack of a “plan” and the battle continued. Crazy right? 

Then I had an epiphany of sorts…that in reality we both want the same thing: for me to be happy. We just see two different sides of the same coin. But how did I realize that? What’s the big secret that finally diminished the adolescent friction my parents never dreamed they’d have to deal with? My perspective changed, and in that moment I let myself believe I could succeed.

                  

You see, we put up walls when we think something is impossible. My walls supported the belief that I couldn’t pursue what I love because my parents disapproved of my dreams. First of all, my parents didn’t believe that at all when we really talked about it, and second, who cares? In the long run I’m the one who has to come to terms with my own decisions. What walls have you built up? Which opportunities haven’t you given the chance? I learned that I have put up my walls myself, and maybe other people have helped, but I must never attribute the walls to them in spite of that. Our walls block us from what we want to accomplish in different ways, but they all can crumble down one way or another if we stop making excuses and believe in ourselves.

                  

So that’s my secret, I stopped making excuses. I believe in myself, my walls now rubble beneath my feet. You can do whatever you want to do in life. You can be whatever you want to be and love whoever you want to love. Tear down the walls that hold you back because if anyone can…it’s you. 

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”

—Marianne Williamson