Whether it's 10 AM or 10 PMwe've all had that realization that we cannot commit to plans made last week. You were more optimistic then. You were more naive. Nevertheless, now you need an excuse and that is where this handy-dandy list comes in.
1. Family dinner. The OG excuse.
2. There's something wrong with your stomach, something pukey.
3. You haven't started studying for your exam tomorrow.
4. You've only watched 16 videos of veterans coming home to their dogs and you promised yourself you'd break 30 tonight.
5. If you're not on your couch, who's going to watch the entirety of "The Office" for the eighth time?
6. You're getting a package and you need to be home to sign for it.
7. You're allergic to alcohol.
8. You've decided to get caught up on current events but you haven't read the news since 2015 so it might take a while.
9. It's been four days since your last shower and it will take all night to scrub all the grime off.
10. You just started defrosting some beef and you need to cook it as soon as it's done.
11. There are so many Vine compilations and so little time.
12. Your long lost sibling just found you on Facebook and you want to meet him/her.
13. You recently converted to Judaism and it's the Sabbath so you have Shabbat dinner.
14. You recently converted to Islam and it's Ramadan so you're fasting.
15. Your roommate got lice and now you have lice and you're busy shaving your head.
16. You have class.
17. You're abroad.
18. You didn't eat dinner.
19. You haven't worked out in 6 months and you decided that today is the day you get in shape.
20. You don't have a fake ID.
21. Your temperature is 120 and it's so high that you're being taken to the Pentagon for tests.
22. You took over-the-counter UTI medication and it turned your pee orange and now you're going to MedExpress.
23. New phone, who dis?
24. "OMG! I was in the shower and I just saw this, my bad!"
24. Your mom said no.
25. You are trying to get internet famous and being in public might distract you from the A+ tweets you could be brainstorming.
26. There was a Tasty Desserts video on Facebook that actually seemed doable so now you have to go try it.
27. You're in the middle of a face mask.
28. It's been a while since you last watched all of the "High School Musical" movies from start to finish and if you go more than 90 days you might spontaneously combust.
29. You Benjamin Buttoned and now you're a middle schooler.
30. You were arrested and you can't make bail.
31. Your leg fell off.
32. You're getting sick and therefore you cannot hang out tonight and honestly, will need at least a week to recover.
33. You don't have any money so you can't Venmo the host for jungle juice.
34. You were asleep and didn't see any of the messages until now.
35. Your dad is getting married and tonight is the rehearsal dinner and tomorrow is the wedding so you'll let them know when you're free!
36. PMS
37. Your apartment flooded and now you have to buy new furniture.
38. The truth: your love for your bed is greater than your guilt for flaking...again.
