Recommended for you

Start writing a post

Entertainment

21 Excuses You Can Use To Avoid Drinking In College

"I'm saving my first drink to be a crisp scotch with Bill Murray."

Riley Farrell

Nov 19, 2018

Texas A&M University

1078

21 Excuses You Can Use To Avoid Drinking In College

@oldrow Instagram

*Disclaimer: it is okay to drink; it is okay to not drink*

Hi, I'm Riley and I don't drink at this point in my life. Not only that, but I'm in college! The pinnacle of ~fun alcohol time~, right?

I know what you're thinking: my college experience is a sad, dreary snooze-fest. Woe is me! However, my time in a university has been (and continues to be) a happy, delightful adventure.

Sober, I am doing all the activities that students who drink do. This includes the seemingly intimidating parties, dinners, etc. where folks engage in communal drinking. Here, I understand that turning down drinks is difficult! You know, the whole psychology of peer pressure, yada yada. But, staying sober is completely possible with the help of some handy-dandy excuses.

Obviously, "because I don't feel like it" is a perfectly legitimate reason, but there will always be pushy people who cannot take "nope" for an answer. So, here are some lighthearted ways to turn down the offer.

1. “I am on a dry season because I am a student athlete. Want to feel my muscles?”

Giphy

2. “No, thanks! I am the designated driver tonight!”

Giphy

(And every night, but they do not have to know that.)

3. “The last time I drank, I accidentally sent my nudes to my Calculus professor, who, funnily enough refused to give me an extension on my homework afterwards. Anyway, I dropped that class.”

Giphy

4. “I am already suuuper drunk right now!”

Giphy

(It helps if you trip over as you say this one. Really sell it.)

5. “I have to write an entire paper on “Paradise Lost” when I get home because it’s due tomorrow at 8 a.m.”

Giphy

6. “I have a weird family history with drinking, so I’d rather not risk it. Both of my parents, all of my siblings, my cousin Bobby, and my dog are all alcoholics!”

Giphy

7. “I only drink Cheval Blanc 1947 St-Emilio (Bordeaux, France).”

Giphy

(This wine costs over one hundred grand.)

8. “I ought to help my pal get home safe.”

Giphy

9. “I’m saving my first drink to be a crisp scotch with Bill Murray.”

Giphy

10. “My roommate is getting up tomorrow at the crack of dawn and I don’t want to kill him/her if he/she wakes me up while I am hungover.”

Giphy

11. “I literally just don’t want to drink. Run along now, nerd.”

Giphy

12. “My parents think I'm at the library and I have to call them later.”

Giphy

13. "I am celiac and the gluten in beer makes me crazy sick.”

Giphy

14. “Ew, no. Who are you all kidding?! Alcohol tastes nasty.”

Giphy

15. “No, I already have the confidence I need to talk to cute boys/girls.”

Giphy

16. “Maybe later! I am pacing myself!”

Giphy

17. “Hey! Look over there!”

Giphy

(Run away.)

18. “I’m pregnant.”

Giphy

(This is a great excuse, especially if you can have a food baby during the event.)

19. Just scream until they walk away.

Giphy

20. “Can’t! It is because of my diet! Did you know that two beers add three hundred calories to your day? Ugh, Whole 30 over Freshman 15, am I right?”

Giphy

21. “I don’t think my sponsor would like me messing up my twelfth step in AA.”

Giphy

Report this Content

This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Student Life

The 5 Phases Of Finals

May the odds be ever in your favor.

Essex County, NJ

1469

Gurl.com

It’s here; that time of year when college students turn into preschoolers again. We cry for our mothers, eat everything in sight, and whine when we don’t get our way. It’s finals, the dreaded time of the semester when we all realize we should have been paying attention in class instead of literally doing anything else but that. Everyone has to take them, and yes, unfortunately, they are inevitable. But just because they are here and inevitable does not mean they’re peaches and cream and full of rainbows. Surviving them is a must, and the following five phases are a reality for all majors from business to art, nursing to history.

Keep Reading...Show less

finals

Student Life

How To Prepare For The Library: Finals Edition

10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

University of Dayton

2855

How To Prepare For The Library: Finals Edition

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

It’s that time of year again when college students live at the library all week, cramming for tests that they should have started studying for last month. Preparing to spend all day at the library takes much consideration and planning. Use these tips to help get you through the week while spending an excessive amount of time in a building that no one wants to be in.

Keep Reading...Show less

library

Student Life

26 Things to Thank Our Roommates For

Who knows where we would be without them.

Michigan State University

1955

StableDiffusion

Where do we begin when we start talking about our roommates? You practically spend every moment with them, they become your second family and they deal with you at your best and at your absolute worst. They are there to make you laugh just a little harder, cry a little less and make each day a little better. We often forget to thank them for the little things that they do to make college even a tiny bit easier and more fun. This list of 26 things are what you should thank your roommates for right this minute and every day that you live with them.