Lawrence Sullivan Ross, 1838-1898. Soldier, Statesman, Knightly Gentleman. Brigadier General, CSA. Governor of Texas. President of the A&M College.

That is my official title on the sign below me. I stand tall overlooking the students of this university, and I am proud to see such diversity cloaking the brilliant minds we have at this school. I oversee Silver Taps, Century Tree proposals, and the beautiful flag raising every day.

My undying love for Texas A&M runs deep. I always like to see students succeed. However, they seem to think putting money on my feet is not only smart but comfortable for me. Ah, youth.

In any case, I have been asked to disclose what my typical day is like when the Aggies have to take finals. Good gracious. I don't know if you are ready for this.

0730 - Female Aggie cries to mother over unfair treatment.

Form of payment: two crinkled dollar bills.

Using a contraption called a cell phone (I learned it from the kids), a student with her Mocha-Latte-Extra-Whipped-Cream-Extra-Ugg-Boot-Shot-of-Espresso cried to her mother that "I just can't do it. This professor isn't making the final optional, and he scheduled it for 8am! What kind of person does that to someone?"

Oh, I don't know. Someone who has hit adulthood, perhaps. I hope, for your sake, you find a job that doesn't require you to be awake before noon.

0900 - Male cadet approaches with skinny blonde girl on his arm

Oooo, maybe this is a Century Tree type of girl. Clearly a bootchaser, as he is a bit awkward... but she seems sweet. They each pull from their pockets a single penny. Redass! Treat her well, my friend.

1130 - Lunchtime. Small freshman leaves Chimy's taco on my feet.

First of all, I prefer chips and queso.

Secondly, I don't remember saying "A taco for your thoughts."

Godspeed, dude.

1400 - Breakaway volunteer approaches, leaves ESV copy of the New Testament and says a prayer.

Great prayer, my friend. A relationship with God is very important, and I'm glad you read scriptures.

Tell me, though. Did you read the textbook? ...Ah.

Send a couple more prayers.

1700 - The last final of the day. Many people are leaving... Wait, hold on. Is that MISS REV?

Must... resist... urge... to pet. Must... maintain... statesmanship.

She sees me, though. That's what matters. Howdy, Miss Reveille, ma'am.

2100 - Campus is dark again.

This is a crucial time. I am so proud of my Aggies, as much as I joke, for getting through exams. I will remain a watchful eye over the university until they return.

Merry Gigmas to all, and to all a good break.