Relationships are tricky.

They can either be the happiest part of your life or the most stressful.

Well…from the outside it seems those are the only two options, but if you ask any couple in the world, I guarantee their answer will be that their relationship is both of those things. And that’s the beauty of it. When you’re in a relationship with someone, you get to spend super good times together, but your job is also to help them through the super difficult times.

I wanted to open with that to show you that I understand dating isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. It’s messy and fun and scary and awesome. That being said, it’s important to choose the right person to try this whole relationship thing with.

Y’all, every relationship ends in one of two ways: you either break up or get married.

I know so many people who settle. They settle way too hard and for way too long. They settle for someone who doesn’t ever want to hang out with them, someone with bad intentions, or someone who doesn’t want to spend time with their family. They settle for someone who doesn’t want to commit, someone who doesn’t want to learn anything about them, or someone who lacks respect.

I see it happen time and time again. I partially blame society on this one. We’ve been taught that chivalry is dead, happy endings don’t exist, and there aren’t any good guys or girls out there.

But I’m here to tell you that society is wrong.

You don’t have to have a #relationshipgoals type of relationship (mainly because those don’t exist), you don’t have to be completely inseparable from your boyfriend/girlfriend, and you sure as heck don’t have to have sex with someone to make them love you.

First off, if you’re in a relationship right now and reading this has you feeling squeamish because you know you’re settling for less than you deserve, it’s not too late to get out. Sometimes things aren’t meant to be. I’m not saying that if you’ve ever been upset with each other that means it’s time to break up, because if that were the case no one would ever be in a relationship. But when it’s time, you know. You might not want to admit it, but you know. And if you know you’re putting off something that needs to be done, just bite the bullet and do it already. Life is too short to settle.

Whether you’re recently single or have been single forever, make sure you’re looking for love in the right places. Here’s a little tip for you: stop dating people with intentions of changing them because it is never going to happen. Instead, find someone who will make you better. Stop going after looks or after money or after someone who you have lots of fun with. All of those things are wonderful to have, but it’s not what you need to prioritize.

Let’s talk more about that whole “having fun” thing. Remember how I said that a relationship either ends in a breakup or in a marriage? Okay, then think about what it means to date someone “for fun.” Basically, that’s like saying, “I know this isn’t going to end up in marriage, so that definitely means a breakup, which definitely means heartbreak, but it’s okay because I’m having fun right now.” Then what happens when you finally find a person you want to marry? You have baggage to carry around from all of those past heartbreaks and are forced to work through it with your spouse. All of a sudden, this thing that seemed like so much fun turned out to be a little sticky, huh?

I don’t have all of this figured out—that’s for darn sure. But I do know from my own experience that good guys do exist, and God can lead you to some incredible people if you just let Him work in your life.

Maybe you need to start looking harder, or maybe you need to start looking less. No matter what you’re facing right now, let God help you figure it out.