If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my time as a fraternity man, it’s that sorority girls are probably the most complex, multifaceted and incomprehensible living beings on Earth. They’re just so confusing, and as an 18-year-old freshman just starting college, guy or girl, understanding these sorority women while trying to understand a new school, new environment and even yourself can seem like a feat harder than surviving campus life. But as annoying as it can be to crack the sorority code, we love to hate and hate to love them all the same. Over my years at school, I’ve picked up on a few phenomena and behaviors that ring true for just about every sorority girl I’ve ever met. So guys and girls, from an upperclassmen, here’s some insight on sorority girls that I wish someone would have told me when I was a freshman.
Use it wisely.
1. They Travel in Packs.
First and foremost, sorority girls love to travel in groups. To class. To the dining hall. To the gym. To the bathroom. It doesn't matter, there’s never just one of them anywhere. It’s almost like they have a sixth sense that alerts them every time one of their sisters is by themselves. When the internal alarm goes off, the girls come running -- sometimes by the dozen -- over stairs, under railings and through the campus construction to find their solitary sisters to offer them a little friendly conversation on that 30-ft. walk between classes. Rain or shine, these birds of a feather always flock together. So if you ever see just one out by herself, be wary and act with caution, there are others nearby.
2. They’ll Talk Forever.
When I say forever, that’s not an exaggeration. These girls are some of the most social, talkative and vocal females you’ll ever meet. And no topic is off-limits. It doesn’t matter if they’re talking about the bagel they ate for breakfast or what dress they plan on wearing that night, they will go on and on with no sign of stopping. There’s no escaping it. So what should you do in the event of a sorority verbal onslaught? Say something back! Like I said, these girls are social. If you talk to them, they’ll talk to you (an actual conversation with a girl. What a concept!?) Despite talking at an average of 300 words per minute, they definitely know how to hold an intelligent conversation, and their ability to relate to just about anything is uncanny. Sorority girls always have some kind of fun anecdote or “This one time, my friend….” type of story that’s sure to earn at least a relatable chuckle. So don’t be afraid of the ever-chattiness of these women. Embrace it and see where the conversation can go.
3. If One Knows, They ALL Know.
If you think they talk a lot when they chat with other people, wait until you witness how they talk with each other. They will cover about 20 different topics within one conversation, and that’s on a slow day. These women share everything (everything) with each other. Twitter and Facebook have nothing on a sorority member class’ group text thread. For all we know, they discovered the cure for cancer and the formula for flying cars, but it was lost in the storm of campus gossip that works its way from one sister to another. If one girl hears something of interest, you can bet the entire sorority will know by that afternoon. They do it not because they love to gossip, but because they’re making sure everyone is on the same page and is looking out for one another. Would you want your best friends knowing a secret that could impact you and keep it hidden? Neither do they.
4. They Don’t Like to Change Their Minds.
Sorority girls are very, very set in their ways. Once they’ve made up their minds, they seldom stray from that decision (unless of course the decision is what kind of shoes to wear with that particular dress and hairstyle.) They’re confident, strong-willed and strong-minded. They won’t roll over so easily as to simply accept being wrong in an argument. If they believe in something, they'd rather throw in their letters and disaffiliate before they concede to defeat, especially if it’s in regards to their sorority. These girls are smart and they will verbally cut you down and rip you to shreds to prove their point, and smile through the entire process. Let’s face it, these women are cultured from their new member process to think and act with a sense of pride that reflects the organization they join with integrity. So why wouldn’t they do the same for what they personally believe? If you verbally engage a sorority girl, you better have come prepared with your strongest defenses, because you’re about to face a spoken beating like you’ve never seen before.
5. They Stick Up for Their Own.
Whoever said 'hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned,' clearly never pissed off a sorority girl. These women are not the type to be messed with. Sisters will defend sisters to the death, no matter what. Bigs will attack anyone threatening their little with the ferocity of a raging mother grizzly bear. And provoking a Pledge Mom is like unleashing the kraken on a little toy sailboat. If you rub one the wrong way, you can expect the high-heeled fury of 120+ girls beelining right for you. As stated before, these women are strong-willed, and sometimes that will takes the form of a perfectly aimed open palm to the face. Be warned: do not take girls lightly just because they sing sorority songs or their nails are pink. Because when necessary, they will take those perfectly manicured preference round nails and gouge your eyes out.
6. These Girls ARE Loyal.
Sorry, Chris Brown, but when you said “Them h***s ain’t loyal,” you must have overlooked the sorority women of the world. These girls are loyal, and not just to their own sisters. Making friends with a sorority girl might be one of the best decisions you make in your college career. The same dedication they give to their sisters, they’ll give to you. Sorority women will never leave a friend in need. They’ll be the one to walk you home at 3 in the morning after a long night. They’ll be the ones to call you out for a bad hook-up at a party. And they’ll be the person to help you finish the pint of Ben & Jerry’s or bag of Doritos after you realize just how bad that hook-up actually was. Sorority girls have your back. Whether you need brutal honesty or a drink brutally dumped on someone smack-talking you at the bar, these women will do it all.
So let’s recap. If you meet a sorority girl, she’s probably with friends, talking incessantly and chatting about that cute new fraternity member. But at the same time, they’re making sure their sisters are being taken care of, they’re socializing and being outgoing and they’re making the most of their college career. Sorority women are smart. They’re confident. They stick up for their own. So when you inevitably come across one of them on your college campus, don’t hide. Don’t glare at them for talking too much, and don’t automatically assume their good for nothing more than high heels and short skirts. Go meet them. Strike up a conversation and see where it leads.
You’ll be glad you did.