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All The Things My Scrunchie Has Seen

Let me say "I'm sorry you had to see this", but also "you're welcome", in advance.

Teylor Veliotis

Jun 30, 2019

Fordham University

442

selfie by me

Let's see what you see:

1. The millions of germs having an orgy on the handles of the Subway

Let's not think about this too much.

2. All the stamps I accumulate on the backs of my hands from clubs

Giphy

But we can just tell my parents they're from something else.

3. The dust bunnies under my bed when I accidentally lost you for a day

I missed you.

4. Ariana Grande—eight times, to be exact

sweetener world tour - brooklyn, ny

teylor veliotis

My hands were in the air and so were you.

5. The inside of the nasty washers and dryers in my dorm’s communal laundry room

You may have fallen inside a couple of times; I deeply apologize.

6. The crumbs hidden beneath my keyboard from late-night snacking whilst watching Netflix

Don't judge me.

7. The dozens of Fordham cats I pet on a daily basis

emily andrade

You haven't gotten rabies yet, have you?

8. How dirty my hair really is when I try to hide it by wearing it up

I guess I'm not fooling everybody.

9. My fresh manicures

teylor veliotis

Nails on fleek.

10. All the terrible pickup lines I’ve had the misfortune of encountering

Bumble is pretty spooky.

11. The passengers I drive around when I’m working the campus shuttle

olivia valkenburg

Thanks for keeping me company.

12. The countless number of bagels I get from Best Deli

I just can't resist.

13. The city views from New York rooftops

Nicholas Daleo

Truly blessed.

14. The surgeons and nurses who took out my tonsils

I was too unconscious to meet them.

15. All my homework

Giphy

Trust me, I'm not a huge fan, either.

16. The inside of the mini UV beds at the nail salon

Don't look straight into the light!

17. My passwords

Giphy

Let's hope you can keep a secret.

18. All the money I spend on online shopping

I'd like to keep this between us.

19. How gross I look when I first wake up in the morning

Please tell me you still love me.

20. The times I get left on read

Giphy

Embarrassing…

21. A close-up view of me putting on my contact lenses

Gross, I know.

22. The bottom of my swimming pool

teylor veliotis

You've reached some serious depths.

23. The stubble on my legs before I shave them

At least I'm not the only one who has to see this.

24. Your scrunchie friends when I’m hanging out with my friends

emma kowaleski

Saturdays are for the scrunchies.

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All The Things My Scrunchie Has Seen

Let me say "I'm sorry you had to see this", but also "you're welcome", in advance.

1. The millions of germs having an orgy on the handles of the Subway

2. All the stamps I accumulate on the backs of my hands from clubs

3. The dust bunnies under my bed when I accidentally lost you for a day

4. Ariana Grande—eight times, to be exact

5. The inside of the nasty washers and dryers in my dorm’s communal laundry room

6. The crumbs hidden beneath my keyboard from late-night snacking whilst watching Netflix

7. The dozens of Fordham cats I pet on a daily basis

8. How dirty my hair really is when I try to hide it by wearing it up

9. My fresh manicures

10. All the terrible pickup lines I’ve had the misfortune of encountering

11. The passengers I drive around when I’m working the campus shuttle

12. The countless number of bagels I get from Best Deli

13. The city views from New York rooftops

14. The surgeons and nurses who took out my tonsils

15. All my homework

16. The inside of the mini UV beds at the nail salon

17. My passwords

18. All the money I spend on online shopping

19. How gross I look when I first wake up in the morning

20. The times I get left on read

21. A close-up view of me putting on my contact lenses

22. The bottom of my swimming pool

23. The stubble on my legs before I shave them

24. Your scrunchie friends when I’m hanging out with my friends

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AKA, Christmas overload.

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

1. Watch an R-rated Scary Movie in a Movie Theater

2. Buy a Lottery Ticket

3. Vote in an Election

4. Participate in a Run (or a Walk, Realistically) for Charity

5. Go on a Road Trip

6. Start a Savings Account

7. Get a Credit Card

8. Sign up for Spotify Premium

9. Go to a Club

10. Start a Meditation Routine

11. Go to a Yoga Class

12. Treat Myself to a Dinner for One

13. Volunteer for a Charity

14. Participate in a Research Study

15. Bake Something (That Ends Up Being Edible)

16. Go Skydiving

17. Be Called for Jury Duty

18. Figure Out What I Want to Do With my Life

The holiday classics that shaped my life

1."But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give: of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa's beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men."

"Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see."

"If you won't use your heart, who cares if it gets broken? If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it'll be like my rollerblades. When you do decide to try it, it won't be any good. You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose."

"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."

"Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it."

"If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find a that love actually is all around."

"Sometimes things look good on paper, but lose their luster when you see how it affects real folks. I guess a healthy bottom line doesn't mean much if to get it, you have to hurt the ones you depend on."

"'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.'"

"Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to."

"There's room for everyone on the nice list."

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

1. Why are towels considered dirty when you get out of the shower clean?

2. Who closes the bus door once the bus driver gets off?

3. Why is there a "d" in "fridge" but not in "refrigerator"?

4. If you drop soap on the floor is the floor clean or the soap dirty?

5. Is the "S" or the "C" silent in the word "scent"?

6. Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?

7. Would Lightning McQueen buy car insurance or life insurance?

8. Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?

9. What color are mirrors?

10. If 2 mind readers read each other's minds whose mind are they really reading?

11. Is there a synonym for "synonym"?

12. If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, are your pants tucked into your shirt?

13. Why is it called "quick sand" if you sink slowly in it?

14. If I try to fail, but succeed, which one did I do?

15. If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?

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