Food service is something you have to experience for yourself in order to really appreciate. Waiters, cooks and cashiers—despite performing an invaluable task—are so often overlooked. But dealing with hungry people on a daily basis teaches you some significant lessons about humanity, and there is no better introduction to the rude and the truly stupid than being paid minimum wage to provide food for the general public. Without a doubt, here is what goes on in these hangry people's minds:

1. Despite the obvious geography of the restaurant, I’m going to hopelessly wander around while actively avoiding the arrow sign directing customers to the location the restroom.

It's actually astounding that I navigate my own house without a GPS.

2. Oh, is that a garbage can over there intended for me to use? Well, I better leave all my trash on the table.

Let me scatter it into a postmodern masterpiece first… Ground these crumbs into the carpet and empty this soda onto the seats. Voil á!

3. I should stand a good six and a half feet away from the register when I'm ordering, that way I can get upset when the cashier can't hear my order correctly.

Of course, I’ll speak in my inside voice—slightly louder than a whisper—because I'm polite. But I won't say thank you because that'd be too polite.

4. Whenever the restaurant runs out of an item, I will get personally offended. The staff is obviously intentionally trying to sabotage my day.

No doubt that cashier snuck into the kitchen and ate ALL of the tomato soup. What else could explain the shortage? It's not like there are other people that eat here.

5. The restaurant closes in 5 minutes? Well, that's just enough time for me to order the most complicated item on the menu and sit down to eat!

When I see the staff sweeping and taking out trash, I'll start to eat slower. And then I’ll leave a massive mess. It's not like they want to go home at a reasonable time.

6. Why is this food so expensive? It's clearly the cashier's fault.

It's not like the prices of items are decisions made on the corporate level. No, this is all the doing of that evil cashier.

7. Wow, the staff is super friendly to me—it's not like they’re required to smile and be cheerful around customers, right? No, they must specifically like me. I'll go ahead and awkwardly hit on an employee.

I can't tell if that employee looks uncomfortable or not. It's almost like they constantly have to be courteous to customers. ...Nah, they're definitely flirting with me!

8. Even though the cashier outstretched his/her hand to collect my money, I’m going to dump it in a pile on the counter.

Why would I extend that common courtesy and treat them like a fellow human by placing the money in his/her hand? Psssh, while I'm here, they are all my subhuman food service servants.

9. I definitely shouldn't bother to finish this phone call before ordering. Let me make it extremely difficult and demeaning for the cashier to take my order while I balance a super important call.

‘Excellent. Thanks! Goodbye!’ No, no, not you. Do you mind? I'm on the phone.