This past Friday I participated in a glow run. It was the first 5K I've ran in over a year, and my body was definitely not happy about it. I've been running at the gym for a little over a month, but it's been sporadic at best and nowhere near 3.1 miles. My past experiences with 5Ks should have warned me that my oh-so-little training would fail me. Oh well. Here's what it was like in my mind during that dreadful forty-five minutes.

1. The starting line

Alright! I can do this! I've been running! I've done 5Ks before; I'll be totally fine!

2. The first five minutes

Just a little winded. No big deal! Just keep up the steady pace.

3. 15 minutes in

Okay...feeling the burn a little bit. It's fine. I'm fine.

4. 2 minutes later

It's totally fine that I'm walking right now. I'm still in the middle of the group. People started walking long before I did. At least I'm doing better than them, right?

5. 20 minutes in

Maybe if I keep up this slow jog I won't die. The paint is out of my eye at least.

6. 30 minutes in

So what if I'm walking again? I'm going uphill. It's totally acceptable to walk uphill. Everybody around me is doing it.

7. 15 minutes left

I'm close, right? I have to be. The pain in my side is telling me I have to be. Is that food? Do I smell food?

8. 10 minutes left

Pizza. Chicken. Chinese food. I want it all. All the foods. Why didn't I pay someone to wait for me at the finish line with food?

9. 5 minutes left

Now I know I'm close! I just have to remember to run again when I get close enough that people can see me.

10. The finish line

I see it! I'm almost there! Look at all of those people. Oh gah. They're watching me. And cheering. Make it stop. Somebody. Anybody. Make them look away. I look like a bedraggled, neon rat.

They didn't look away... and nobody was waiting for me with food. Paint covered me from head to toe. I don't know what they put in washable paint like that, but the manufacturers really need to figure out a new formula that doesn't smell so bad. Thankfully, my sorority sisters that were waiting for me wanted to go get food right after. I got bacon cheese fries and celebrated the fact that even though it took me forty-five minutes at least I wasn't dead last.