Every social group has one; the “Mom.” She is the friend that represents comfort, loyalty, compassion, empathy, and trust. The “Mom” is the group’s literal BAE because everyone goes to her before anyone else- perfect to go to when a boy breaks your heart, when you are in need of medical attention or just someone to talk to. However, there are both positive and negative effects of being the “Mom” because to some people, you are the goodness that a mother represents, and to others, it’s the opposite. To my fellow “Moms,” I hope you never have to bear the negative consequences of the qualities that make you who you are.

Pros

1. There is no limit to the lengths you will go to help a friend, and everyone knows it.

You get the title of being the one people should go to because they’ve seen you drop everything to assist others. When people confide in you and seek your wisdom, they are acknowledging that you are truly the best when advice is desired. The feeling of being the one everyone turns to first results in increased self esteem and a sense of purpose.

2. You know all of the secrets. You are a fountain of knowledge.

More often than not, your friends are coming to you about a personal issue or dilemma they have not told anyone else. They trust you to keep those secrets so you are an untapped source of knowledge. Overflowing with secrets, you hold the real power.

3. Everyone comes to you for the most random things. It’s pretty fun.

This is something that is well known about you. Everybody, from your classmates to teachers to strangers in the hallway, asks you for basic necessities like first aid kits and emergency snacks. If people know one thing about you, it’s that you are always equipped and ready to go. As the “Mom,” personally, I carry petroleum jelly. While I use it for my own benefit as a substitute for chapstick, I carry around the biggest tub available for purchase. That’s the “Mom” right there. Additionally, everyone knows you carry that bad boy around and everyone with a pair of lips or a cut is asking to borrow it. The benefit of this is that you have the gift of being in tune to the needs and wants of others. And those others trust you. The “Mom” or the BAE, whatever you want to call her, is smart, prepared, equipped, knowledgeable, and trusted.

Cons

1. Your status as the “Mom” can be used as an insult, and people take advantage of it.

Unfortunately, a term that often represents the one person in everyone's life whom they trust the most can often be used as an insult. When someone dislikes the advice you presented to them or they feel you are caring excessively, “Mom” becomes an insult as they call you “such a mom.” This term suddenly has the power to truly hurt you, and it probably has in the past. People do not necessarily intend to hurt you, but it does because you are being compared to the nagging, overbearing mom as opposed to the loving, caring mom. So haters, if you are going to use this term as an insult, it might be in your best interest to consider what idiotic thing you are doing to receive negative feedback from the fierce and courageous, “Mom.”

2. The reason you are called “mom” is because you are a woman.

There is something quite sexist about calling someone a “mom.” The reason you are called a “mom” is because you provide valuable advice, you are prepared and organized, and you strive to make yourself available to others. If a male had the same qualities, he would not be called “dad.” He would simply be regarded as a boy scout, or people would not say anything at all. Because these qualities are typically feminine qualities, when used as an insult, it is implied that females are a lesser sex. The true misogyny behind this insult is not evident, but it reveals the gender inequality present in this world. People must stop viewing feminine qualities as lesser, and men should not fear expressing these same qualities.

Being everyone’s literal BAE is extremely rewarding. Your talents are endless- you are the therapist, the chef, the drug store and more. People can not change or devalue wonderful qualities. Let’s be honest, they are all just jealous.