After 18 years spent with your family and (if you go straight to college) 4 years spent with roommates, you learn who you are, and maybe even who you want to be, but you aren't truly forced to be alone.
After 22 years of constantly being with people and disliking even going to the store by myself, I moved to Oklahoma for job training. While I was only there for a few months, that time was crucial in my development and showed me how important it is to become comfortable with spending time by yourself.
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The first few weekends I spent there I felt completely alone. It was unsettling and honestly, depressing. I sat in my apartment basically doing nothing but feeling lonely. I watched Family Feud and bought myself some plants to nurture. As you can imagine, I got bored pretty quickly. Slowly, I began exploring the area by myself. It started with running errands, and driving around listening to music. These adventures were short, maybe an hour or two. But soon, I was shopping and studying in public. Sure, these don't seem like huge achievements, if achievements at all, but for someone who always kept herself busy and never enjoyed being alone, it was a huge deal.
I'm sure I'm not alone as someone who doesn't enjoy being alone. It's the discomfort of being by yourself, specifically in public, and not having anything to do, or anyone to interact with. During my last few weeks there, I gathered enough courage to go out to eat and have a drink, and go to the lake by myself.... and I actually really enjoyed it.
Forcing yourself to be alone--and I mean completely alone-- really shows you who you are and who you need to be for yourself. You learn to be someone who enjoys running errands alone and reflecting on the day. Someone who can sit with a book in a bar or at a park and not feel like you can't look up from the page. Now, I can take all the time I need to look at a menu if I'm at a restaurant and not feel like I have to finish my meal in two seconds and leave. I don't have to use my phone as a distraction to avoid having to look around a room. In forcing myself to be alone and enjoy my own company, I feel more free and comfortable.
Moving anywhere teaches you how to adapt, but taking the plunge alone teaches you how to be vulnerable and be comforted by the fact that you can empower yourself. It teaches you how to be independent, and how to enjoy that independence.
Being completely anonymous in an unknown place forces you to see who you are, what type of people you should surround yourself with and gives you a new perspective. Before you know it, you will have experienced new things and made new friends, and you'll be content in realizing that one of them is you.
