Recently, I've had a few conversations with various people on children, and if they think children are enough of a reason to blame not having time to do anything. As someone who doesn't have kids, it's almost like my busy life and how I choose to be productive doesn't really count because I don't have kids to slow me down.
"I got up at 5:00AM to clean!"
-Just wait until you have kids.
"I worked 9-5 today!"
-Just wait until you have kids.
"I got my workout in, and managed to cook dinner!"
-Just wait until you have kids.
You know, I realize becoming a mom will most likely be one of the most difficult and trying things I'll ever do in my life, but just because I'm not at that point in my life yet, does not mean you (the mom) have any less hours in a day than me. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. Just because you're spending it taking care of your children, doesn't mean it was spent more productive than mine.
Cleaning, working, exercising, and cooking are all things I do that don't automatically become impossible when you have a child. I'm not saying some days won't be hard, and cleaning may sometimes be an after-thought, and my workout will have to wait awhile, but I am saying that a huge reason why I don't have kids is so that when the time comes I'm well-rounded enough to try and figure it out without constantly resorting to making excuses.
"Today I didn't work out because I didn't want to make the time to."
Example: Instead of doing my workout while the baby napped, I napped too.
That's not bad! It's not something to be ashamed about, but it is something that you can admit instead of jumping right into an excuse or a way to make yourself feel better by putting other people who do find the time to work out, clean, cook-down.
I know SEVERAL mom's with a spotless house, who do their at home workout videos while waiting on their new Pinterest crock-pot recipe to finish cooking. Again, I'm not saying it will be super easy, but it can be done. I'm not saying you're perfect if you do this, and I'm not saying you're not perfect if you don't, but the option TO do it is there, and that's something some people won't say enough.
Until I actually do have kids, I can still have a busy schedule as well. It's not like the tasks I choose to do in my day don't matter just because I haven't yet balanced a kid with it too. There can feel like there isn't enough time in the day for me too. No, I'm not running around trying to feed, change, and rock my baby, but I am working my ass off to get myself at a spot in my life that I'll feel more confident and better about bringing a baby into.
We manage to find a lot of excuses in our lives for things that may test us a bit.
"Oh, I couldn't work out because I didn't have a sitter."
"Oh my house is a mess because I have kids."
"I don't work anymore because daycare is too expensive, I just have to stay home."
Those SAME moms making excuses are the SAME moms making other adults with no kids feel shitty for managing their time and doing it well, or judging the moms that somehow find a way to balance it.
The thing is-EVERYONE MAKES A CHOICE.
-I choose to use protection and not have children right now so I'm financially stable enough for my kids to be able to go to Daycare if I please.
-I choose to stock my fridge with healthy food and do at home workouts so I'm somewhat prepared and in a routine for when a baby does arrive.
-I CHOOSE to make these positive decisions that I think can POSITIVELY affect my life so I can be the kind of mom that lifts and encourages other moms or just other people in general. I don't want to make those without kids feel bad for what they're able to accomplish in a day just because it may be easier to get those things done without children.
And I don't want to make those with kids feel bad if their lifestyle is just different than mine. We all have a choice and most likely they'll never be the same. I'll never be the mom who attempts to scare you before having kids.
But I will be the woman without kids that won't just believe your excuses for the things you say you CAN'T do because you had children. If you don't clean, cook, exercise, or work it's because you CHOSE that-it's not because you can't because there are several who CAN!
Life's all about choices, so stop making so many people for shitty for theirs.
