None of this, in any way, is supposed to be negative towards teachers. I don't know who I'd be today without many of my instructors who have taught me more than just the curriculum. But in the spirit of finals, I'm calling out all the teacher tropes in stories about coming-of-age youths. So here's what the teachers would actually say if they were honest about their character.

1. “When I was your age, I dreamed of doing what you want to do, too. But now I'm a high school teacher. I'm rooting for you to live the dream I couldn't."

2. "I love these kids as if they were my own. Because I don't have any of my own. I'm alone."

3. "I'm going to push you until you resent me. Only then will you figure out the solution to the problems in your life and this equation."

4. “You remind me of myself at your age. So I'm going to give you special privileges and single you out constantly. But I totally don't have a favorite.”

5. "Sometimes I feel like these kids just need one rousing speech to turn their lives around."

6. "I know your outburst at me is misplaced anger towards your parental figure, so I'm going to let it slide."

7. "It’s funny these kids don’t know how old I am. I make it pretty clear with my quirky, outdated references. Maybe the parents will get those."

8. "You have so much unused potential. With my intense training, I am going to help you discover it."

9. "I'm going to be sarcastically condescending to you so teenagers can see your spunk and identify with your angst.”

10. "'I like them better as a person than a teacher' really cuts deep. Teachers are people too."

11. As long as I've helped one kid, I've done my job.