"You don't know what goes on in anyone's life but your own. And when you mess with one part of a person's life, you're not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, you can't be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person's life, you're messing with their entire life." - Hannah Baker

I am writing this in tears after having just finished the 13th and final episode of the Netflix original series, "13 Reasons Why", based on the novel by Jay Asher. I binge watch most Netflix series with ease, however, this show was extremely hard to watch. Not only does the show accurately depict the loneliness and worthlessness that constantly eats at someone who is suicidal, but the show also opens our eyes and makes us question and criticize our own actions towards others.

I think "13 Reasons Why" is a show that needs to be seen by everybody, regardless of how painful it is to watch. As unfortunate as this is, for some people, seeing a graphic show like this is what it takes for them to reevaluate their interactions with others. If you're the person that contributes to someone crying themselves to sleep every night, or not crying because the pain has made them numb, or dropping their grades because they don't envision a future for themselves, or finding it easier to end things than to hope for a brighter path, then YOU need to watch this impactful and thought-provoking show to become aware of how your actions may be taking a toll on others and to understand the extremity of them.

I am in tears for many reasons. I will never be able to understand how some of you can sleep at night treating people the way that you do. It breaks my heart knowing that there are people in the world right now feeling so alone and wanting to cry out for help. It breaks my heart, even more, to think that someone who is feeling that way could be right in front of us, but sometimes we'd never be able to tell.

Someone very near and dear to my heart survived extreme depression and bullying in high school. While watching this show, I felt like I was rewatching a previous part of my life where I helped someone that I love to fight their way through all of the pain, which was very difficult for them to do. Some days were better than others, but some days I was terrified that I would wake up and they would be gone. Unfortunately, the pain was all too much for the main character of the show, Hannah Baker, to the point where she felt she had nothing left to live for, and in turn, took her own life. Not just Hannah Baker, a fictional character, but so many amazing souls in real life that have been taken from us way too soon because of the disgusting and dehumanizing acts of bullies. People have even driven me to feel like this during previous points in my life and I will never be able to understand the minds of the bullies that I've encountered.

The whole is the sum of its parts- Yes, the little things matter too. From being bullied and watching a loved one fight extreme bullying, I like to think that by now, I know how bullies operate. One thing that I see way too often is victim blaming. When someone is suicidal, and even when someone isn't for that matter, the little things add up. I've heard some people say that they think Hannah Baker was being dramatic about small inconveniences, that she killed herself for stupid reasons, however, I beg to differ. When you are in such a low and hopeless point in your life, the small things make up your reality. The small things help you decide step by step if going on is still worth it.

So many bullies will do something cruel to someone and then use the excuses, "you're just overreacting", "chill out, it was just a joke", "It wasn't meant to be taken seriously", "you're too sensitive". However, what they fail to realize is their singular, small action could be the last determining factor in someone's decision to take their own life. If you did something little to someone, and he did, and she did, they all accumulate and become the victim's reality. The whole is the sum of its parts, a life is made up of the small moments. So yes, the little things matter more than you think. If you think someone is being dramatic, there is likely more to it than just what you did. However, you are continuing to feed the fire. And who's to say your small act of carelessness won't be the one that pushes them over the edge?

Bullies accumulate from hurt. When my family member got bullied, all I wanted was to scream at the ones who hurt him. I wanted revenge. I wanted them to feel how they made my loved one feel. However, I realized that if they could treat someone like this, they must already be hurting. The show does an accurate job of depicting the various troubled backgrounds from which bullies arise. Thus, there is a certain sensitivity built up towards them in the show, while still making it clear that there is no excuse or justification for their actions.

It is so important not to seek to get revenge on the bullies and to never treat them the way that they treated others. As far as you know, they could be fighting their own battle. They could end up being the suicidal one. Not that anything going on with them makes what they did ok, and I am in no way defending them, but it is so important to be kind to everyone. Even the bullies. Maybe all it takes is one kind person to make them want to change.

You can be "friends" with someone and still be their bully. One thing about bullies is that there are many types of them. There are also many misconceptions about bullying. Stereotypically, people tend to think that bullies choose victims that are dramatically different from them. In the movies we always see the jocks bullying the outcasts, or the rebels bullying the nerds. However, a bully can be someone close to you. It can even be someone you consider your friend.

When someone feels comfortable with you, they can be vulnerable around you. A bully can be someone who takes advantage of the comfortability that someone has with them, by using it to manipulate them. Some people blindly do this, but some knowingly do it and continue because there haven't been any reciprocations to their actions. What if you drove your friend to their final straw? Would you realize that maybe you weren't being their "friend" at all? Is that what it would take to finally make you treat them like a human being with a purpose? If someone gets hurt from being bullied by people who they don't even know, then how do you think they'll feel when their own friends turn on them in their darkest hour? Deception from the people that we trust most can be more painful than the words of strangers, even though none of it should happen at all.

A bystander is just as big of a problem. This is so important to be aware of. Many people see bad things being done and don't take any measures to stop them simply because they don't think it involves them. They think that if they are on the outside, they aren't to blame. However, the reality is that they are just as dangerous as the bullies themselves. In the show, there are many people who are aware of the things that have been done to Hannah, however, they resort to remaining silent in order to protect their friends (the bullies).

As humans, we feed of off each other. If just one person steps away from the sidelines to reach out to someone with depression, it could make them give life another chance. If you are aware of something bad happening, trust your instincts. If you feel the slightest bit uneasy about it, then it's probably because the guilt is eating you alive. By standing by and watching, you are letting it happen. You are watching the victim die more and more each day, until one day, you don't have anything to watch anymore because they are gone. And that's when you realize you should have done something while you still had the chance. It's as easy as showing someone that you care.

"13 Reasons Why" gives us the opportunity to gain meaning from binge watching a show. It teaches us to hold ourselves accountable. It shows us that if we are not considerate and compassionate towards someone, they can just be gone and not exist one day, shockingly and unexpectedly. It teaches us to be kind to everybody and to recognize the signs of depression. It builds awareness, while also depicting the gruesome reality of suicide. It should not take someone taking their own life for us to realize that our behaviors are wrong.

Every bully needs to watch "13 Reasons Why" so that they can learn to spot their behaviors and see the potential consequences that will result if they keep it up. You need to see how your actions are impacting others. You need to see the worst case scenario that could very realistically happen to someone if you continue mistreating them. You need to be scared of what your actions can do to someone. You need to realize how much power your words hold and how dangerous they can be. You need to stop today. Before it's too late. It shouldn't take watching a show to realize you're in the wrong, but I'd rather you realize it from the situation portrayed in the show rather than not realizing it until you push someone to the point of suicide in real life. I'll leave you off with a plea. Please be kind to EVERYONE. ALWAYS. NO EXCEPTIONS. It could save a life.