As of January 20, 2017, Donald Trump has been sworn in as our new President of the United States. Personally, I am not excited. I've made my opinions on the new president very clear, and I feel the same way about his new cabinet picks as I do about him—I am displeased. So in good humor and good fun, I have compiled a list of 15 things that I would rather have as a president than Donald J. Trump.
1. The caterpillar that looks like his hair.
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While I'm not 100 percent sure, I feel like this caterpillar from South America would do an infinitely better job.
2. A literal toddler.
Our new president already has the temperament of a toddler, so this wouldn't be too far off. The toddler might make less racist/xenophobic/sexist comments.
3. President Schwarzenegger from "The Simpsons Movie."
He was elected to lead, not to read. While he did get all of Springfield put under quarantine, still preferable than Trump.
4. Stubbs the Cat.
The small town of Talkeetna, Alaska has elected Stubbs thecat as their mayor for the past 19 years.
I can think of no one more qualified to lead the free world.5. This dog wearing a suit.
Okay so I may have spoken too soon. This sharply dressed pup is infinitely more qualified than Stubbs, sorry Stubbs. 10/10 would elect.
6. Richard Nixon's head.
But only his head. I don't want the rest of him. If his head is attached to his body, he has no chance of winning.
7. That kid who really likes turtles.
"What are your views on foreign policy?" "I like turtles."
8. Cory Baxter.
It's time to put Cory back in the house! #CoryInTheHouse2020
9. President/Mr. Garrison.
While he is a bit (read:a LOT)
more offensive than Trump, somehow still preferable. Vice President Jenner definitely included.10. Pedro.
Not only does he have really cool campaign T-shirts and buttons, he offers you his protection. And would most likely have Napoleon Dynamite as his vice president and who doesn't want that?
11. The Zodiac Killer.
AKA Senator Ted Cruz. Okay, I know Ted Cruz probably isn't the Zodiac Killer but I just couldn't help myself.
12. Kanye West.
All I have to say about this is #Kanye2020.
13. Professor Umbridge.
The most hated woman, nay character, in the entire "Harry Potter" universe. Still better than Trump.
14. Team Rocket.
Prepare for trouble America, and better make it double
15. Darth Vader
Bonus points if Kylo Ren is his tantrum-throwing VP.
