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Politics

15 Things I Would Rather Have For President Than Donald Trump

There's a laundry list.

Symone Leonard

Jan 23, 2017

University of South Florida

15 Things I Would Rather Have For President Than Donald Trump

YouTube

As of January 20, 2017, Donald Trump has been sworn in as our new President of the United States. Personally, I am not excited. I've made my opinions on the new president very clear, and I feel the same way about his new cabinet picks as I do about him—I am displeased. So in good humor and good fun, I have compiled a list of 15 things that I would rather have as a president than Donald J. Trump.

1. The caterpillar that looks like his hair.

While I'm not 100 percent sure, I feel like this caterpillar from South America would do an infinitely better job.

2. A literal toddler.

Our new president already has the temperament of a toddler, so this wouldn't be too far off. The toddler might make less racist/xenophobic/sexist comments.

3. President Schwarzenegger from "The Simpsons Movie."

He was elected to lead, not to read. While he did get all of Springfield put under quarantine, still preferable than Trump.

4. Stubbs the Cat.

The small town of Talkeetna, Alaska has elected Stubbs thecat as their mayor for the past 19 years.

I can think of no one more qualified to lead the free world.

5. This dog wearing a suit.

Okay so I may have spoken too soon. This sharply dressed pup is infinitely more qualified than Stubbs, sorry Stubbs. 10/10 would elect.

6. Richard Nixon's head.

But only his head. I don't want the rest of him. If his head is attached to his body, he has no chance of winning.

7. That kid who really likes turtles.

"What are your views on foreign policy?" "I like turtles."

8. Cory Baxter.

It's time to put Cory back in the house! #CoryInTheHouse2020

9. President/Mr. Garrison.

While he is a bit (read:a LOT)

more offensive than Trump, somehow still preferable. Vice President Jenner definitely included.

10. Pedro.

Not only does he have really cool campaign T-shirts and buttons, he offers you his protection. And would most likely have Napoleon Dynamite as his vice president and who doesn't want that?

11. The Zodiac Killer.

AKA Senator Ted Cruz. Okay, I know Ted Cruz probably isn't the Zodiac Killer but I just couldn't help myself.

12. Kanye West.

All I have to say about this is #Kanye2020.

13. Professor Umbridge.

The most hated woman, nay character, in the entire "Harry Potter" universe. Still better than Trump.

14. Team Rocket.

Prepare for trouble America, and better make it double

15. Darth Vader

Bonus points if Kylo Ren is his tantrum-throwing VP.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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15 Things I Would Rather Have For President Than Donald Trump

There's a laundry list.

1. The caterpillar that looks like his hair.

2. A literal toddler.

3. President Schwarzenegger from "The Simpsons Movie."

4. Stubbs the Cat.

5. This dog wearing a suit.

6. Richard Nixon's head.

7. That kid who really likes turtles.

8. Cory Baxter.

9. President/Mr. Garrison.

10. Pedro.

11. The Zodiac Killer.

12. Kanye West.

13. Professor Umbridge.

14. Team Rocket.

15. Darth Vader

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No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

What is the current minimum wage at the federal level?

What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

Told through Parks & Recreation GIFs

Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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