People have this notion that you have to be physically hit to be abused. They think that the other person, whether it is a guy or a girl, has to lay their hands on you in order to call it abuse. People often claim that "they haven't been abused" if the other person hasn't hit them, struck them, thrown them against the wall, or shoved them through a window. And that is a lie.
Even if they don't hit you, it's still abuse if they yell at you, threaten you, call you names, criticize you, degrade you, tell you that you won't amount to anything, insult your choice of jobs, financial decisions, or anything else you do in your life. It's called psychological abuse. It's called emotional abuse. But regardless if they hit you or don't hit you, it's still abuse.
People in your community live with being abused. People at your place of employment live with being abused. Your siblings may have lived with being abused. Your neighbors, your cousins, your friends, people you've dated and/or married may have been in an abusive situation. Even if they don't hit you, it's still abuse.
If someone you know insults you, it's abuse. If someone that you know calls you names, criticizes you, or tells you that you're stupid, ugly, fat, or any number of other negative and degrading things, it's abuse. And you don't deserve it. No one does. You shouldn't take it. And we all know it's not that easy to simply wake up one day, say "I'm done", and walk away from it. People live that way all the time.
If your parents tell you that you're stupid, they are abusing you. If your parents are telling you that you're worthless, they are abusing you. If your parents say that you're never going to amount to much, they are abusing you. if your siblings, spouse, or someone else in your life calls you names, degrades you, insults your life choices or who you are dating or marrying, they are abusing you.
If your mother is an alcoholic that calls you names and laughs at you, it is abuse. If your father constantly tells you that you're worthless, that you won't amount to anything, and that you make stupid choices, it's abuse. Even if they don't hit you, it's still abuse.
How many people do you know that live with being abused? You would be surprised. Your coworkers may be married to or dating someone that is abusing them daily. They may often deny it, saying that the person does the dishes, cleans the house, mows the lawn, or whatever else it may be, but if they are treating them in this manner? It's abuse.
If you know someone that you play cards with, go bowling with, ride bikes with, hang out with socially, or even someone in passing that has a spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, live-in partner or whatever it may be that treats them in this manner, they are being abused. It's wrong. Even if they don't hit them to hurt them, if they are treating them in this manner, it's abuse.
Growing up in a household with an alcoholic mother and a verbally, psychologically, and emotionally abusive father, I did everything I could to win their affection. But even into my 30's, my father would tell me I'm stupid. He would tell me I've made dumb decisions. He would play the victim and put the blame on me. He would tell everyone that would listen that it's all my fault.
That's abuse.
Growing up in a household with parents that didn't hug, didn't kiss, didn't tell you they loved you, didn't congratulate you on good things, and didn't tell you they were proud of you is one thing. But constantly being told that you'd never amount to much, that your decisions were "stupid", and that you "should use your head before you do something dumb again" is abuse.
Even if they didn't hit, it's still abuse. No matter how you look at it. Being called stupid, being told you won't amount to anything, constantly being criticized for going to concerts, for going to the mall, for spending money, and even for making poor decisions that uprooted your life (which I admit I have at times), you do not deserve to be verbally and psychologically abused. By having someone tell you that you're never going to be good enough- working as hard as you can to get their approval and never receiving it? It's still abuse.
Any way you look at it. Verbally, psychologically, emotionally, and anything else you want to call it. It's abuse. Even if they don't hit you and/or hurt you physically? It's still abuse.
You know someone that's lived it. You know someone that has experienced it. Your coworker, your neighbor, your friend, an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend, someone you were friends with, loved, or someone you knew. You've experienced it. Even if it didn't happen to you (which chances are it has- you just don't realize it), it's still abuse.
Don't take it. Don't live with it. Don't tolerate it. You don't deserve it. I don't deserve it. No one does. Everyone has their own life struggles. Everyone goes through pain and suffering. Everyone makes poor life decisions. But no matter what you or I do- you and I don't deserve to be abused. Whether it's verbal, psychological or emotional, it's still abuse.
So many people in this world do not call it abuse. They don't recognize it as abuse. They just think that it's a person being an "asshole" or "being mean" or someone being rude. But if they play the victim, make you feel worthless, make you feel like it's your fault, point fingers at you, tell you that you've done something wrong, and that you can't ever correct it- it's abuse.
Ever have a parent walk out of your life, make up lies, tell everyone that would listen they're a victim, and make you feel like it's your fault? I have. It's abuse. Call it what you want. Even if they don't hit you to hurt you? It's still abuse.
Walk away while you still can. It will get better. One day. It may take a month. It may take a year. It may take half your lifetime. But it will get better. You just have to tell yourself it's not your fault. You have to tell yourself you don't deserve it. You have to tell yourself they're doing this to make the world feel sorry for them. And that's all it is. You are the victim. Not them.
Even if they don't hit you to hurt you, it's still abuse.
Make it stop. Walk away. And never look back. Don't let them abuse you anymore.
I won't.
