To Whom It May Concern:

From the time I was born I am told that I am less than him. I am raised to believe that he must always come first. I am bred to cater to him, to stroke his ego, to never undermine him. I am told that his needs come before mine. I am made to understand that his happiness is significantly more important than my own. I am told that his work ethic is more pronounced than my own. I am told that he is smarter than me, funnier than me, and stronger than me. From the time I am born, I am instructed to look for happiness within in him. I am taught that in order to understand my self-worth I must first find it in him.

To Whom It May Concern:

Ever since I was a child my lists of accomplishments have been a mile long. Ever since I was a child I knew that I could meet any goal that I set for myself. Ever since I was child I was told that I would be great some day. Ever since I was a child I have wondered when that day would come. Am I not great now? What is the huge puzzle piece missing in my life? Ever since I was a child I have been told that the puzzle piece was a man. Without him, I have done nothing. No award won, no great performance given, no goal met can compete with the accomplishment of a man validating my life.

To Whom It May Concern:

As I grow older I am to understand that his sexual happiness and satisfaction is of the utmost importance. I am made to think that if I don’t satisfy him the way he wants whenever he wants, I have failed as a woman. If I then satisfy multiple men, I am also a failure and considered undesirable in the eyes of society. It is to my understanding that a man is sexually inclined to do what he must to me. I am told that if I flirt with a man or go on a date with him I am now in debt to his sexual desires.

To Whom It May Concern:

As a woman, I am constantly told that my words do not matter. As a woman it becomes increasingly obvious that regardless of having the physical experience of something, my words leave no imprint on the world. As a woman I become more and more aware that being catcalled on the street is apparently an acceptable and normal thing that I should become accustom to. As a woman I am to understand that a man is allowed to holler obscenities at me and it is my fault for looking too friendly, I am even often told that my experiences weren’t real or over exaggerated according to a man. And if a man says it’s not true, then surely it is not. As a woman my words are constantly invalidated. As a woman if I explain something it will unfortunately be misunderstood by virtually every person around me, and for that reason a smarter than thou man must be present in order to explain what was ultimately meant.

To Whom It May Concern:

As a little girl I am told that it is important to learn how to cook and clean. I am told that it is important to obtain these skills in order to take care of my husband and my home as I grow older. As a fully grown woman I am told to forget these skills and take hold of my own career, catapulting myself to new heights. As a feminist I am made to feel guilty in both of these situations. As a feminist, I am ridiculed for not paying enough attention to my career while also being shunned for showing too much attention to my career and forgetting to shower my family with attention at all times. As a feminist I am often told that I must be the superwoman. It is impossible for me to participate in one thing and forget the other. I am expected to be sexy and powerful, but also vulnerable and innocent. I am told that I should be an equal amount of present but showing too much attention to patriarchal roles is frowned upon. As a feminist it seems that I am once again expected to be the full package woman that is also required of me from the patriarchy.

To Whom It May Concern:

As a feminist, I can do whatever the hell I want. As a feminist my ultimate goal is to be happy, to be loving, and accepting of every type of woman. As a feminist I understand that I cannot be the full package. As a feminist I understand that it is important to accept myself and others for who they are and how they choose to live their lives. As a feminist I understand that the entire point of feminism is to be my own woman and love whoever that may be.

To Whom It May Concern:

I have decided that I will never be less than him. I have decided that I am my own person. I have decided that I am my own woman. I have decided to embrace that every day and celebrate my body in the process. From the time I was born I was raised to become the apple of his eye. I was raised to think that he was the ultimate goal. Marriage was the thing I should strive for. I was told to dress in a modest way and rid myself of any hair on my body because it wasn’t appropriate as a lady. I have decided to say: Screw Being A Lady. I am who I am, and who I am is amazing.

To Whom It May Concern:

My body is my temple and I can do with it as I please. I have decided to refuse to give in to patriarchal demands. I will wear what I want how I want when I want. I refuse to accept the idea that a man should control himself based on how little clothes I wear on my body. Never am I told that a man is at fault for anything that makes someone uncomfortable. Too often are women blamed for the faults of a man. Too often people overlook the gruesome and grotesque things some men often participate in because they don’t want to lower the level of comfort in the setting. I have decided to not give a damn about being comfortable. No longer will I allow me or my sister’s stories to go unaddressed. No longer will I accept the subservient role given to me as a woman and fulfill the stereotype of not demanding to be treated like a human being.

To Whom It May Concern:

As a woman, my words are valid. My words are true. My words are intelligent. My words matter. For so long I have been silent in fear of not having something important to say. For so long I have swallowed my words believing they were invalid and wrong. From this moment on I will shout my words from the rooftops uncensored. From this moment on I will venture through life unafraid of making others uncomfortable by speaking my experiences out loud. I refuse to feel as though my words don’t matter. They are important and they are world changing

I always come first. I am sexy. I am comfortable. I am happy. I am strong. I am my own woman and I am damn proud of it.