This is the only way I can describe it; it's like I'm stuck in this deep black hole. While in this hole, I can look up and see this little speck of light above me shining through. Each day, I build up the courage to find a way out— some days are easier than others. When I do find whatever courage I have in me on that particular day, I begin to climb. There's little pieces of rocks sticking out of the tall, never-ending walls around me that I can barely fit my feet on, but as I begin to climb, I'm filled with ambition, positivity and dedication. I have, in my mind, that nothing can stop me from getting out of this dark and lonely place.
With every step up, I can feel the intense pressure on my toes. I break a sweat with every push, feeling each negative thought run down my face giving my mind more space for clarity. And I smile, reminding myself that everything is going to be OK. The higher I get, the more light I see. The more light I see, the more at peace I feel.
But then I slip. I begin to fall back down so fast that my doubt and fear rush through me and around me as if they're connected to a rope thrown out by the black hole. It has such a tight hold on me that it's making it hard for me to breathe. At that moment, the only thought going through my mind is how much easier it would be to let go and to give in, allow myself to fall back down just so I can breathe again.
And as I begin to loosen my firm grip on the wall that I'm holding onto with just the tips of my fingers, I look up one last time. I see that light and it's always so inspiring. I'm reminded why I started climbing in the first place. My determination starts to rise, pushing that rope up and over my head. I'm free again.
I continue my climb each time with more ambition and acceptance. You see, I accept the fact that I will slip; I will lose track of my steps. There will be times when I lose sight in which step to take next, and...I will...slip. But I will not fall back down; falling back down means I gave up and I will not allow myself to give up. I've come too far; I've climbed too high to even think about letting go of that wall.
With each step comes more light and I'd much rather be able to see where I'm going rather than being blinded by the darkness of my fears and doubt.
So I...
Keep climbing.
