As a testament to the compassion of my friends, I cannot count the number of times they have responded to my being stressed, frazzled, or upset with the option of retail therapy or my favorite meal. Really just quality time together. In the past couple of years, I've found that this doesn't always cut it for me anymore.
Most of the time when my mood is soured, I just want to recover it all on my own.
Despite my friends' constant and unconditional understanding, I can't help but feel as though I am letting them down by turning down plans or the opportunity to talk. First World problem—trust me, I know. But to any of my friends reading this, just know that I never want you to think that my seclusion is a reflection of anything but my personal, emotional needs.
As I insinuated, I'm most likely not the only individual on Earth who feels this way, which I think grants me even more of their understanding—I just fear the possibility of gaining a reputation that will have me permanently secluded.
I'll admit, some days I'm too mentally exasperated that I don't always remember or want to reply to emails, calls, or messages right away. It's a bad habit with which I'm trying to find balance. Of course, I want to talk. I want to be involved. Again, it's nothing more than a form of repose after a long day. Self-care, if you will.
It's funny how often this practice—unplugging for a bit—is criticized in professional, and more often, social contexts. Not getting an immediate response leads to immediately jumping to conclusions about why they haven't provided one. I know it's certainly how I react:
Is it because I didn't help out with that one thing?
Oh my God, I hope they didn't think I was being shady when I said that.
Regardless of the convoluted explanations, we provide for what is often just being preoccupied or tuckered out has us over-analyzing situations that mustn't be. Whether or not other people do this too, it's one of my worst, yet seemingly trivial fears. My social anxiety takes it and just runs. But the funny thing is that I never think twice after one of my friends expresses a need to just be alone for a bit, even virtually.
And that's because of the simple truth of the matter, which is that no one is entitled to anything, including another's time.
And when it comes to the expectations of being socially available almost every hour of the day on multiple platforms at once, it only makes sense to take the breather then you may need whenever and for however long that may be.
