I don't believe that some people are blessed with more joy than others. I don't think the charmed life is predestined but procured. I think joy can always be found. For those who are game, it's simple. I spy with my little eye, joy. I think it is rewarded to those who actively pursue it: the happiness sleuths. It's not difficult to play, but the key is to be willingly searching. That's the secret charm. The incantation is simple. Just repeat after me: enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.

Be in the moment and you will find joy.

I'm quite crafty at solving rhymes and riddles. I'm not so proficient in daily drills. My brain and my body don't always seem to agree. I'm working on that.

I had a rare day off, Friday. I had big plans of productivity, but spent most of the day harebrained, pant-less, writing, deleting, writing, and repeating. And then...I remembered I needed to go to the bank. I paused the madness, threw on a swimsuit cover up for a dress (it was clean and in the top drawer...), and ran out the door. I got in my car and then remembered I left my wallet inside...ran back, grabbed shades incase I was spotted (even a Feral has regulations on wild sightings), locked the front door to my house, and got back in my car. But just as I started the engine, I heard a tap on my window and a familiar voice.

"Natalia! Natalia!"

It was my neighbor Karen. I love Karen, but Karen loves to talk even more than I love to talk. I was in a hurry to get to the bank before it closed and was really regretting my noncommittal attitude with my look. It was not flawless, but I did indeed wake up like that. Hashtag. No filter.

I looked down to press the window switch. Yep, definitely forgot a bra. I smiled, hoping the Feral I was airing out would scare away my neighbor. She didn't notice.

"It's my 40th birthday!"

Karen is a lot of things. She is independent, tough as nails, mothering, generous, gives-it-to-you-straight, a storyteller, a super saver, a cat lady, and a friend. She is all of those things and more, but she is definitely not 40 years old. I knew it was not her birthday.

Confused and a little annoyed, I laughed.

"Happy birthday?!?"

Then, she placed the coin in my hand. Karen had received her 40-year Al-Anon birthday token.

Karen had just returned from the birthday party to celebrate her 40 years of sobriety. The first thing she did when she got home was walk across the street to share with me her joy. I spy with my little eye, a joy master.

I paused the stopwatch of my hurriedness and took time to really see my beautiful neighbor and to listen to her tale of that day and all the days that lead to it. Before I rolled up the window, she reached in and hugged me. She didn't focus on my wild mane, frock, or lack of make up. She just smiled, from ear to ear.

"I love you, Natalia. Thank you for sharing my birthday."

It's true there was a lot happening that day. There's a lot happening today. The chapters of pain, disappointment, uncertainty, longing...those will always be a part of our stories. Don't close the book. Keep reading. Enjoy every chapter. If you look hard enough, you'll also find love and happiness. The literary techniques may seem dark, foreign, complicated, and even need revisiting. I'm discovering that the joy found in those lines, can be tedious and even seem impossible at times. When found, however, that joy has a much deeper meaning than the kind found by novices of flowery metaphors and illusions.

If you really get stuck in a particularly grim chapter, just follow the footnotes. Footnotes are like joy for dummies. They were created by joy masters and are typically as short as the distance from your house to a good neighbor's. All you have to do is be willing to take the time to enjoy.

I spy with my little eye, a joy apprentice.

XoXo,

Feral