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On Being Engaged Young

A unique perspective on an important life decision.

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On Being Engaged Young
Photo by Jesse Smith

The journey to finding the love of your life is one of the toughest, stressful, yet rewarding journeys we ever have to make. The experience is life changing and you know it when it happens. I am at the end of my journey to find, and just beginning the one for the rest of my life. Yes, I am 19 years old and I am engaged. Her name is Ashlen and she is also my high school sweetheart.

Ash and I met in high school and immediately hit it off. We found out we had a lot in common. We had similar tastes in music. We both wanted to study elementary education in college. We both loved the Pacers. But most importantly, our moral compasses aligned perfectly. I've never met another girl that sees eye-to-eye with me as well as she does. It's almost scary. The two of us got to know each other through a rock solid friendship before I decided to ask her to prom. From then on we admitted feelings for each other and dates followed. We became official and never really looked back. Needless to say we fell for each other. Fast.

We went through senior year of high school like it was a blur. I would attend her choir concerts and she would always be at my track meets. Ash and I were pretty much inseparable. We made it through graduation, through open houses and enrolling in colleges. We both decided to attend IUPUI to further our studies. I was originally going to Butler, but transferred last minute when I realized how much it was going to cost me in student loans. It wasn't worth the investment. Through the summer, we grew up a lot. We both had an idea of what our future wanted to be. I knew exactly what I wanted out of my adult life... and I knew I wanted her to be a part of it.

I talked with Ashlen's parents about the idea of engagement and they let me explain my plan. I told them I wanted to commit myself to her and tie the knot once we both have our bachelor's degrees. A long engagement, but I wanted her to know that I was around for the long haul. I took what money I had left over after school expenses and bought her the ring. I set up a meeting with her at our favorite place: Cool Creek Park in Carmel. We would go there a couple times a week during the summer when we first started dating. It was a beautiful escape and a place for us to get lost. I met her at the end of a bridge and popped the question. Tears filled her eyes as she yelled "YES!" It is moment that I'll never forget.

In all our excitement, we immediately knew we had made the right decision for us. Unfortunately for some, they were not nearly on-board as we were. In a time when we needed support, many people turned their backs on us. There were rude comments, a lot of questioning and a whirlwind of negativity in the time when we were supposed to be celebrating. "Aren't you guys too young?" No, we aren't. "Lemme guess, she's pregnant?" Nope, we are waiting until marriage to have sex. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, you won't make it." We'll see about that.

Ash and I remained happy through all of it and focused on each other while we started college. We had a lot of classes with the same people. Understandably so, it was a little nerve-wrecking to tell people that we were engaged for the fear of backlash coming once again. Much to our surprise, the majority of our classmates were nothing but supportive for the two of us. It was refreshing to tell them about our plans and how excited they truly were for us.

I'm not going to pretend that it's all been perfect and it has been free of any stressors, but it has been worth it. It has been worth every living second. Over a year removed from proposing to her, I still wake up and love her more each day. No amount of negativity will change that. When I look at Ashlen, I don't see some girl I'm with, or the girl I go on dates with. I see another half of myself and how important she has become to be. And I know how important I have become for her. She's someone who cares about everyone before herself. She loves unconditionally. She brightens my day. She inspires me to be a better person than I was yesterday. Ash gives me the confidence to put myself out there with my writing. In all honesty, I probably would have never applied for a writing position here if it wasn't for her.

We are actually ahead of schedule to graduate from college. As we begin our second semester of sophomore year, wedding planning is not too far beyond the horizon. I think about how far we have come and how much we have grown up together. We started out as high school kids with the typical high school love into two adults with responsibility. Our love has grown stronger as we have gotten through tough times together. We have also had plenty to celebrate. Birthdays, holidays and life milestones -- we have been through it all together every step of the way. No matter if I'm having a bad day, I know she will be there for me and that's enough. I don't know anyone else who could put up with my obsession with baseball, my off-key singing, my constant sarcasm, my geekiness with music, my competitiveness, or my over-the-top laughing. I get to be with my best friend in the world for the rest of my life. I think that's pretty cool if you ask me.

So I propose (pun intended) this to anyone reading this. When you see someone getting engaged, please give them your support. It's all they want. You don't necessarily have to agree with it, just please do not tear them down. A young engagement is not for everyone, but it is for some. Accepting and, more importantly, respecting their decision will go a long way for them. Ask yourself, "Will this actually affect me in any way at all?" The answer is no. If I had the chance to go back and do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat. It is still the best decision I have ever made and will continue to be.

I would like to close with a quote from "Speed of Sound" by Coldplay. This is the song we heard when we were on our first date together that I consider the beginning of a new era. "And birds go flying at the speed of sound, to show you how it all began / Birds came flying from the underground, if you could see it then you'd understand?" Maybe if you saw us together, maybe if you saw our relationship then you would understand. Love shouldn't have an age. Age is not a prerequisite to know who you want to be with. I know I'm young. I know I have the rest of my life ahead of me. I also know that I wouldn't want to go through it with anyone else besides my fiancée.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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