Many girls in college spend countless hours thinking about their potential future husband and getting engaged. They dream about the ring, the dress, and the celebration. Once a boy finally puts a ring on it, Instagram and Facebook blow up and the preparation for the wedding day is crazy and exciting. Life during this time is depicted by several choices: colors, photographers, decorators, caterers, and venues.

Although the thrill of planning a wedding presents such exhilaration for the new couple and all those invited, the true meaning of an engagement and marriage are simply disregarded most of the time. In the presence of several bystanders and some of my best friends, I got engaged on Dec. 23 to a man who I consider the closest and most tangible thing to God’s grace in my life. He presents such selflessness and understanding, and I couldn’t wait for this moment. Yes, the ring was stunning and the proposal was surreal, but the true reality set in once I was able to calm down and gather my thoughts.

I adore my fiancé with every being of my heart and soul, but I did not say ‘yes’ to him. Sure, I fully committed to spending the rest of my life with my best friend and confidant, but there’s so much more to the meaning of our engagement. It’s through this journey and preparation for marriage we agreed to take our flaws and brokenness and seek the blessing of God to better us not only for each other, but ultimately for Him. We are not using marriage as a solution to ‘fix our brokenness’ and fulfill a personal aspiration. We are not using marriage as an ultimatum because we’re so comfortable with each other, we shrug and say “might as well.” We are not choosing marriage because we’ve spent a specific number of years with each other and if we waited any longer, an engagement would be overdue, but rather, we are ready to enter a covenant where our love is completely sealed and strengthened by His love. We are both saying ‘yes’ to God.

I’m not telling you to stop searching for DIY decorations on Pinterest or avoid looking at bridal magazines attempting to find the wedding dress(es) of your dreams – I’ve been doing this a lot lately. By all means, take the time to enjoy the traditions of an engagement, but don’t fully indulge yourself in the aesthetics of a wedding. I struggle with this daily because it’s so easy to be distracted by making your wedding day so perfect. If you solely focus on the day of the wedding, all you end up with is a year (or more) of planning and stressing for one day that will pass. The main goal is to plan for the future. Plan for the marriage.

Marrying Cody will definitely be one of the most monumental moments of my life because I get to marry the man God created to be my eternal supporter and my most loving companion.

I am writing this article as a message to those who have the misconception of what an engagement should be centered around. It’s not buying a two-carat ring or having a big elaborate wedding. Also, being engaged doesn’t mean that you are more superior than those that aren’t. You are simply the same person with the same goals. You’re just adding extra plans within the mix.

I am the same woman: a friend, student, employee, sister, daughter and now a fiancé. He is the same man. We have our own personal goals, and we have goals we wish to complete together. We have mutual friends, but we also lead separate lives with different friends. We are two broken people, but we aren’t consumed with fixing or changing each other. Our engagement is our opportunity to show that love is not boastful, proud, or envious. It’s all about trust and spiritual preparation. It’s the moment when you take a step further into your relationship and apply a certain wisdom to your life, as your purpose has always been to love others as He had first loved us.

Of course, wedding planning has been an absolute blast and I’m counting down the days until I confess my vows to the man of my dreams! Just don’t let the perks of being a fiancé and the actual wedding day cause you to forget the true meaning of “I do.”