In a Thursday morning address to the Floridian public, President Obama made a rather comedic reference to the recent victory of the Chicago Cubs. He was mid-speech when he mentioned their 108 year "Cub Curse", calling it's conclusion "the best thing since sliced bread". Yet, being Barack Obama, the humor did not end there. He elaborated further, noting that sliced bread LITERALLY did not exist in 1908. What a shame. Sliced bread is pretty great, as are these six wonders. And yet, they did not exist in 1908 either. Hmmm....maybe that's why the Cubs lost all those years ago.
1. Instant Coffee
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No coffee, no workie? More like "no coffee, no winnie". Let's face it, even athletes need to cover all their bases. After all, coffee resides at the height of necessity. Coffee, food, water, shelter, love...that's the correct order, right?
2. Bubble Gum
Oh, bubble gum. It's not just the taste or the smell...it's also been proven to raise the heart beat by three beats per measure. In turn, this improves blood flow to the cerebral cortex, furthering brain activity. And you thought the gum provided at proctored exams was just a nice gesture. You might just wanna thank that pack of Juicy Fruit for your perfect SAT score. If only the Cubs had witnessed such effects in 1908.
3. Television
With no television or public broadcasting in 1908, adoring fans had few mechanisms to show support for their Cubs. Those poor guys must have felt a little alone as a result.
4. Ball Point Pens
When you make an athletic bet, you do so with a pen. So what do you do when you don't have a pen? You don't bet, that's for sure. And what happens when you can't bet that your favorite team will win? They lose, apparently. I guess it's a good thing the ballpoint pen has since come into existence.
5. Synthetic Cortisone
Sure it comes in a long, thin, needle. Of course shots aren't a pleasant experience, but when injury strikes with most inconvenient timing, synthetic cortisone is quite the game changer. In a matter of minutes, the pain begins to subside and the players can run home. Or not, since cortisone couldn't repair the curve ball of an injury until 1948.
Here we are, 108 years later, and what do we have? Instant coffee, bubble gum, television, ball point pens, synthetic cortisone and champion in the Chicago Cubs. Coincidence? Probably. The existence of these six wonders in 1908 surely would've made the World Series a far easier feat, but I'd like to believe that this time around, on their own accord, they my friends, are the champions.
