Domestic abuse and violence is no joke. And the worst thing we do is give it a double standard. It’s portrayed in shows, movies, even memes these days where it’s okay for a girl to slap her significant other when they’re “being dumb” or something along those lines. Maybe a guy says something out of line, it’s normal for a girl to, even if it’s lightly, slap him. But when did that become okay? Those women aren’t necessarily abusive either but if a guy were to slap his partner during an argument, he would be labeled as an abusive asshole.

Normalizing this double standard makes it harder for men being actually abused to get help. We act like it’s okay for a woman to hit or push her partner in certain situations. His cheating, constant arguing, or anything else is NO EXCUSE to put your hands on your man. If we keep allowing this to happen it will only make it harder and harder for men in abusive relationships to get the help they need. And at this point, if you have resorted to hitting your man then it should be considered abuse. Even if he throws an insult your way, leave. If he cheats then leave or talk it out or do whatever to fix the situation but do not put your hands on him.

According to helpguide.org “An abused man faces a shortage of resources, skepticism from police, and major legal obstacles, especially when it comes to gaining custody of his children from an abusive mother.” And all of those obstacles an abused man faces are because we pretend like men can’t be abused until the situation becomes worse and worse. Just because men are typically stronger than women, and just because her slap may not physically harm him, it’s still a form of abuse. If a man hits a woman and is automatically labeled as an abusive person then shouldn’t it be the same for women? Should they not get the same punishment as the man would if he hit her?

Bottom line is, no one should be putting their hands on anyone. No one should have to endure the emotional toll that abuse takes on someone. It doesn’t matter if you’re half the size of your man, you have no right to hit him. If he hit you back, you would be in shock right? But why? Is it not okay for him to do what you just did? Helpguide.org also states “An abusive woman or partner will often try to provoke you into retaliating or using force to escape the situation. If you do retaliate, you'll almost certainly be the one who is arrested and/or removed from your home.” So how is this fair? If he uses self-defense, typically he will be the one arrested. There is no situation where that makes sense.

As the saying goes “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” If you don’t want your significant other to put their hands on you then by no means should you even consider putting your hands on them. It’s scary to think that anyone thinks it’s even okay to hit someone because they are a woman. Gender doesn’t give you the right to do anything that the other gender can’t. It’s a dangerous double standard that allows men to take a slap or a push and believe that it’s normal. Any form of domestic violence is not normal.