Ah, the Creepy Clown Epidemic -- still sweeping the nation as, (in my opinion), one of the most outrageous, face-palm-worthy problems in the history of this country. What started off as supposed hoax on the East Coast, has splatter painted small towns and college campuses all over the country in a matter of weeks.

Just when you think it's states away and no where near you is exactly when someone tweets to warn people about the masked idiot standing in the streetlight down the road. So, for your personal safety, I have constructed a guide as to what you should do in case you encounter one of these rainbow-afro freaks. Let's take care of this funny business, Madea-style (no pun intended).

Step 1: Alert the authorities.

Step 2: Stand your ground.

Step 3: Don't give in to the intimidation.

Step 4: Let that clown know you mean business.

Step 5: Use the buddy system -- the more shade you can throw, the better.

Step 6: If they're still laughing, show 'em who's boss.

Step 7: Turn those tables and don't back down.

Step 8: If all else fails, run like hell.

Step 9: Lock the doors, don't share your candy and don't trust anyone dumb enough to dress like a clown this year.