When I first became a mother I could not imagine my babies as grown ups. Furthermore, I never wanted them to be grown ups. I, as many parents, wanted to keep my babies, just that, babies, I never wanted them to grow up. Alas they do and mine did, as they were supposed to.
I tried to cherish and commit to memory every milestone, every giggle, every accomplishment, every moment we bonded. It wasn’t enough. I could not imagine a life without my children near by. I couldn’t imagine it that is, until the teen years! All of a sudden I understood the true purpose of adolescent development. You may say that it is for the purpose of future procreation, or that it serves to develop children for adulthood. Though these are very valid explanations, the main purpose of adolescent development is for parents.
I know, you are thinking that I am insane! That I have no idea what I am talking about. Well, the insane thing is probably not totally off base, I am after all a mom, but the part about me knowing a thing or two? That is totally accurate. I remember when my first child became a teenager (I am still suffering the PTSD from that!). I remember that moment when I realized that I would be okay if she decided to move away to, Alaska for example, I would be okay and I might even celebrate it.
I am in the midst of my youngest child’s adolescence. It’s a good thing that I had been through some serious basic training with the other two for this. You see, each child is different, a world unto themselves. Siblings can be polar opposites, my three girls certainly proved that. I wouldn’t necessarily change any of it. There were times it was overwhelming, that I prayed every second for them to be grown and independent. And yet, as I have let one go off to adult on her own and I have another on the threshold, I find myself being quite sad.
So many years it was just us, the nuclear family of five. Now most days we are three. Sometimes, if we are lucky and the girls aren’t super busy, we are four for a meal. And on the very rare occasion that we can, we come together and we are a family of five again. These moments are my favorite. They give me a sense of love and wholeness that I cannot find any place else. All that time I spent convincing myself that an empty nest is necessary and an accomplishment of parenthood has not helped me feel any more prepared to let my babies go. They are my life’s purpose, yesterday, today, and always.
