With the end of my first year of college in sight, it's the perfect time to reflect on how I've changed over these last nine months.

My first Odyssey article reflected my feelings of insecurity and loneliness that accompanied the transition. I was such a reserved person at that point in my life. I hated the omnipresent feeling of being looked at, as though I suddenly lived in a glass box that anyone could peek through. I hated the incessant elevator dings and the constant chatter. I never made a serious effort to make friends with the people on my floor either. It was as though I was determined to make myself as miserable as possible just so I could complain about being miserable.

I went home frequently during the first semester, feeling safer and more welcome there than I ever thought I would be here.

I know my family would always be there to support me, but I fell back heavily on the security of my parents. That's not to say I didn't try to branch out because I definitely did. I tried out traditional Greek life and told myself I loved it, and in some ways I truly did. It forced me out of my sad dorm room life and out into society, and I enjoyed parts of the experience. I smiled and laughed like any other person, but I was lying to myself about being happy. At the end of the day, I was always left with a fierce longing for home, just to be at home surrounded by the familiar feeling of dogs and cats and family.

I wasn't being myself. I was trying to fit in. Attempting to be someone you don't know is exhausting.

It wasn't until about two months into the second semester that I realized what I needed to do: individuate.

I was so focused on just hitting all the checkmarks of the college experience — friends, late night outs, girls' days, parties — that I was neglecting what I really wanted: intimacy. I had just talked about the concept of values in my last article, but I cannot stress how important they are to becoming comfortable with who and where you are in life.

Much to the exasperation of my friends, I talk about my Buddhist fraternity, Delta Beta Tau, a little too frequently. I can't help it, though, or rather I don't want to. Delta Beta Tau and Buddhist philosophies have become so central to how I choose to live my life that I can't help but reference it. It's a core part of my individuation process.

It's not just that I'm growing up in general - I'm growing away from the beliefs and philosophies I had followed when I lived at home.

My family was never religious, and I was genuinely okay with that because I never considered myself religious either. I always dabbled with thoughts about spirituality, but coming to college gave me the opportunity to explore my own spirituality with a hundred or so other like-minded people. You don't get this kind of opportunity in a small family of four.

I learned that, no, I don't want to study abroad in Spain like I talked about for years — I want to see Thailand and experience Buddhism firsthand. I want to adorn my body in meaningful tattoos and go on spur-of-the-moment adventures with friends. Some days I'm not entirely sure if my career path is right for me either. Now, sometimes I get the urge to take off on a road trip with my closest friends just so we can discover what this life has to offer together.

I get a little sad when I think about my parents at home, still comfortably settled in to the life I grew up in. I'm not leaving them, but soon I'll be leaving home and that terrifies me. I know I'll always come back home in the end, but right now I have some exploring to do.