Alone.
For many, this is their worst fear. Our relationships aren’t deep, we can’t find our “soulmate,” and we don’t believe that others understand our plight. The feeling of loneliness increases the chance of death by 26 percent.
So what can we do? We need to identify the triggers of feeling alone first, and then learn how to fight them.
1. Our relationships aren’t deep.
Social media, how I love and hate what you are. Nearly all of my generation is obsessed with social media. We crave it. We have to have it. We live our lives based around what we can share. We use it to communicate ideas and thoughts, share funny videos, and simply show off our lives.
We count our worth and value to others based on Instagram likes and Snapchat followers. While these things are enjoyable and provide great ways to stay connected, we all too often toss out flesh and blood relationships for the ease and simplicity of online interaction.
We now settle for a private message on Facebook to feel connection or a flirty comment on our selfies to feel attractive and base our global impact on the number of times we get retweeted.
These are surface level. They don’t satisfy the longings of the soul for human interaction. We needphysical contact with others to feel human! We need to have deep talks with friends and family to figure out our issues with tissues. These non-sexual relationships provide joy and happiness that no blog comment can. Plus, who doesn’t like having a pizza eating contest followed by a heart-to-heart with your best friends?
2. We can’t find “love."
Now I’ve talked about this at length in a previous article, so I’ll briefly go over this. We as a culture approach love from a completely selfish point of view. We desperately want other people to fulfill us, make us feel important, and be what we want them to be. Like a superhero disguised as a penguin caretaker at the zoo.
When other humans fail us or break our hearts, we retreat and become cautious, which is good to a point; but with every failed relationship it makes us feel more and more lonely. Especially when you’re 24 and you’ve gone to 19 weddings in four years (all stag, obviously) and yet you yourself fail to find love.
We need to understand that love is fighting for the highest good of another, not yourself. Until then, you will not find love; but know that love is real and waiting if you can slow yourself down and really ask the big questions.
3. We believe that no one understands our struggles.
News flash: your problems aren’t unique. Unless of course, you are a CEO astronaut moose hunter with a bad case of scurvy.
People have it worse than you and better than you. If you are reading this in the United States, then you probably aren’t even aware of how much better life is for you.
So often we retreat from deep social interaction because we fear that no one will understand us, or that somehow we won’t be loved or appreciated etc. This fear alienates us. Fear does not lead to life, it leads to death. We become anxious and run. Run until we can’t anymore.
Stop running.
There are always people who care. If you feel alone and afraid, reach out! A common theme in my articles is clear communication. Don’t live in your fear and your pity cause they will provide nothing but sadness.
Get out there and be with your friends. Call a co-worker to get coffee. Ask your mom or dad how their day was. Hug someone! Hug me if you want! I love hugs! Especially because when you hug someone, they always hug you back.
*deep breath*
