If you have had any access to the Internet in the past few months, then you have come face to face with the media storm surrounding Bill Cosby and the 47 women he has abused over the past four decades. The fact that the issue is finally getting the coverage it deserves is a milestone; however, it only took the world about a decade to start listening. With the first of Cosby’s known assaults occurring as early as 1965, and the first allegations against him being publicized in 2005, one would think this media storm would have occurred earlier. Sadly, victims of sexual assault have often been ignored, dismissed, and silenced. Thankfully, things are slowly beginning to change, and New York Magazine aided in the progress of exposure and advocacy by placing 35 women Cosby abused and one powerful, empty chair on their recent magazine cover.

It’s a topic finally being discussed and like so many things left unsaid and undone, the topic comes with a level of darkness most people find too uncomfortable to face. Many people see the recent exposure of sexual assault and respond with “That’s enough, we get it now. Rape is bad. Please stop making me uncomfortable.” What people thinking this don’t realize is we, as a society, have barely scratched the surface of this issue, and the empty chair reminds us of this. The empty chair is both powerful and haunting because of what it represents. The empty chair represents all unheard stories of victims. It represents every victim who did not obtain justice. It represents all the aftermath and trauma each victim has faced. It represents the long, brutal history of all silenced rape victims. The empty chair invites every one of these silenced victims to take a seat in it. With all it represents, it is one powerful empty chair.

The statistics surrounding sexual assault do not lie. Currently, 68 percent of assaults are not reported, and 98 percent of rapists are never spending a day in jail or prison, With 1 in 4 women experiencing some form of sexual assault in her lifetime, rape is not an issue of the past. Every 2 minutes, a sexual assault occurs somewhere in America. Every 2 minutes someone is forced against their will to perform sexual acts. Every 2 minutes someone experiences a trauma that they will have to carry for the rest of their lives. However, those numbers are not just empty statistics with insignificant meaning. They represent real women. In fact, as bold as it is to say, you most likely know a victim of sexual assault; you probably know several. Sexual assault is not something you can recognize in people, and it is usually something survivors keep very private, as the stigma attached to sexual assault is often a burden to carry on its own. The empty chair reminds us all that we’ve only seen a small corner of the dark room inhabited by all survivors of sexual assault. There is still so much progress to be made.

The reality of rape is quite different from the way it is often discussed. When someone takes advantage of you, they are taking your power from you. When you realize you can’t always protect yourself from outside force, almost everything in your life begins to crumble around you. Experiencing sexual assault is a quick way to have power taken from you. And while we have come so far when discussing the issues of sexual assault, we still have a long ways to go. For starters, many people have yet to educate themselves about the reality of rape.

First, there is what has often been referred to as the “grey area” of assaults. Most assaults fall under this category, which is a different reality from what the media has often portrayed. The reality of sexual assault is not just something that can be seen on Law & Order: SVU or plastered across the news as a violent, sadistic crime. The reality of sexual assault is that the assaulter often knows the victim. Also, fear of victim-blaming and victim stigmatization causes many women to never report the crimes committed against them or to even seek help.

Then, there are the effects of rape and sexual assault, which a victim can face for the remainder of their life. Common effects include depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, dissociation, drug and alcohol abuse, flashbacks/night terrors, and the desire to contemplate or commit suicide. Are there different degrees of assault? Absolutely, but it’s not so much about the act, it’s about what so many survivors lose following their attack. Survivors often develop a lack of trust in future relationships, a constant state of fear, aggression, loss of self-esteem and identity, and a need for social isolation.

So, what needs to change? First, the way sexual assault is discussed. Victim blaming needs to end. No more “why didn’t she tell anyone?” No more “she was asking for it.” No more “well why was she drinking?” No more anything, which blames the victim for the crimes committed against him or her. Secondly, no more defending the rapist because they “come from a good family” or “go to your church.” A rapist is a rapist. When we defend the rapist, and blame the victim we do so much harm. Not just for one victim, but for all victims everywhere. This type of behavior causes so many survivors of sexual assault to stay silent and avoid accusations that they are “lying” or “mis-rembering.” It causes these victims to sit in that empty chair, holding their stories inside of them, for years. Almost every victim who does come forward is accused of lying, but the reality is that only 2 percent of claims are false, and because of this the best thing we can do for a victim who comes forward is believe her or him. Finally, we need to talk about it more. Sure, it is an uncomfortable topic of conversation, but shying away from uncomfortable topics will change nothing in this world we live in.

Overall, we need to start listening and defending the women and men who come forward as victims of assault, and condemning the attackers, no matter how powerful or wealthy they are, and then, maybe we can prevent serial rapists such as Bill Cosby from going unpunished for far too long, and hopefully help victims stand up from that empty chair and obtain the justice they deserve.