Life can sometimes feel unaccomplished and unfulfilled. Society, careers, social life, family, and personal autonomy, just to name a few can become routine. Personally, I have experienced moments of insecurity and doubt when I have evaluated my life and circumstances. I needed and deserved to feel good about myself and to be proud of my accomplishments. When there seems to be no motivation to evolve or progress in life, it is time for some “self-empowerment.”

Empowerment does not have to be dramatic or turn into a movement by any means, but it must be self-determined. It’s about building the life you want with positivity, goals, and acceptance. My confidence comes and goes, but to the outside world, I radiate it. This was not always the case. My perspective on life has changed drastically and I found self-empowerment to be the remedy for me. The meaning and methods of self- empowerment differ individually, my personal meaning of self- empowerment meant taking control of my life, staying positive, gaining mental clarity, acceptance, independence, and confidence. Below are my methods used to gain empowerment, I like to think of it as a… template.

Number one is a MUST DO FIRST, but the rest can be practiced at personal pace and order.

1. LET IT GO!

I can't express enough the importance of letting go, of healing, of recovering... whatever it might be. The pain, mental anguish, and stress of it all hinder growth; some things are painful, letting go is difficult and forgetting is impossible. Individuals with those types of burdens, transform that energy into aligning your chakras. I know this is hard and it took two years for me to accomplish this, but I am here to tell you it is POSSIBLE.

2. Make a list of Strength and Weaknesses

This is a great method and a confidence booster. More times than not we tend to focus on our weaknesses, giving no credit to our strengths. It is easy to discount your strengths and grow insecure. Instead, take note of your weaknesses and set goals to improve the most important areas.

3. Set Goals and a Plan Of Action

How often have you been told to “write it down?” This is the best advice I received when I wanted my life to manifest itself. Put it on somewhere close to you, which you look at every day. This will serve as a friendly reminder to keep pushing and striving towards your goals. Check off steps in the 'Plan Of Action' section and watch how you accomplish goals.

4. Get Involved

Community engagement and encounters are super rewarding. Not only does it put your position and role in the community into perspective, but your personal involvement will have you feeling proud. Get involved in community clean-up projects, neighborhood picnics, volunteer opportunities at a shelter, et cetera. This is your contribution towards an improved world.

5. Explore Spirituality

I tried many different techniques to improve my mood and outlook on my life. I wanted to be more positive and driven. I began to learn and practice meditation, mindfulness, spiritual cleansing and grounding. As a person who battles anxiety and depression, I found this to be of the utmost importance to stay FOCUSED. The spirit is the key to unlocking healing of the body and stability of the mind.

6. Surround Yourself With Positive Influences

This includes people, places, images, music, EVERYTHING! It may come as a surprise to most that our bodies absorb the world around us. For example, if your friends and associates have negative attitudes about life, eventually your spirit will catch on to the negativity and bring you down. Surround yourself with people who are striving for the same things, use each other for encouragement and companionship. I let go of many friends and family members because their negativity began to plague my mind and I started to doubt myself.

7. Pep Talks

When I say “talk to yourself,” I mean really talk to yourself. I never used to look in the mirror, I mean really look. Stand there and loudly tell yourself all the positive affirmations you want to hear. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are smart, you are kind, you are successful. Give yourself some love and observe your face, hair, skin, eye color, really understand that what people see in us is often the energy we radiate…study that energy and build it up.

8. Get Out!

Not the movie silly! Get out of your comfort zone. Stop being complacent with just being, and do something completely out of the norm. If you have never been out of your state, for example, get a road dog and take a drive. I am a social butterfly, eating lunch by myself was my way of stepping out of my comfort zone. I mean I sat in a restaurant with no phone and I ordered lunch. It was extremely empowering to realize I could be alone with my own thoughts. This past March, I went to PR for my birthday. For the first time in over a decade, I put on a bathing suit and went to the beach (happy place). It was scary at first, but once I got out my own head I had fun in the sun.

9. Take Responsibility

Listen, there is no one that can live your life but YOU. Do not let circumstances or negativity decide your life for you. Take responsibility for your destiny and make a way. That doesn’t mean beating yourself up for past decisions, but keep moving forward and learn from the past. Lack of personal satisfaction with life has a lot to do with blaming outside people or circumstances. It is time to grab yourself by the collar and take charge. For me, this involved the method described in number 1 above. I had to take responsibility for my choices and stop blaming outside forces. No one is allowed to dictate you.

10. Self -Care

Too often I worried about things out of my control and I placed others before myself. It sounds wrong to be selfish, but when your goal to live a life you can be happy with, that involves taking the time to be selfish. There is NOTHING wrong with prioritizing yourself. I spent too much time worrying about others, that I was neglected. I was not where I wanted to be, but I had helped others to where they wanted to be. It took me a while to find a self-care routine that was fulfilling, but eventually, I was in a progressive state. I took the time to get into things I enjoyed such as reading and organic cosmetics. The best decision I made was to take care of myself.

There is no right or wrong way to foster your own growth. Empowerment comes from within and starts with small changes. Life can beat you down if you fail to take heed of the opportunities available to you. Visualize the person you want to be, take the steps to achieve it, and focus. You have strength, beauty, knowledge, inspiration, and growth. You deserve to be the best you.