Are you having doubts or concerns about your relationship? Do you feel like something isn't right? You may have an emotionally manipulative partner.
Emotional manipulationis a form of social influence. It can includeusing pressure to control someone’s thoughts or behaviors through crafty, abusive or other underhanded practices. Emotional manipulation happens when someone uses deception, or similar mechanisms, to exploit another person’s vulnerabilities to achieve his own goal.
Someone who is emotionally manipulative will typically use their partner's insecurities and twist their words back on them to make them feel vulnerable, only to apologize and promise to change when their partner wants to leave.
How can you tell if your partner is emotionally manipulative?
Here are some of the warning signs behavioral experts tell us to look for:
1. Does your partner often put you down or make fun of your insecurities?
If you are dating someone who is often insulting you, or bringing up things that hurt your feelings or make you insecure, you may be involved with someone who is emotionally manipulative. They often use these put-downs as a way to lessen your self-confidence, making you more dependent on them.
2. Does your partner downplay or invalidate your feelings?
Do you often find yourself wondering if you're overreacting or have no reason to be upset? Does your partner cause you to second-guess yourself and your feelings? Emotional manipulators want you to feel insecure in your feelings because they want to control how you feel.
3. Does your partner blame you for their bad behavior?
Do you feel that your partner is blaming you for something they've done, or trying to justify that action based on your behavior? An emotional manipulator will often not take responsibility for their actions, which is another way they can make your feelings seem invalid.
4. Does your partner make you feel guilty frequently?
Do you often feel that your actions are connected to the happiness of your partner? Does your partner often make you feel sorry for them? This is a common tactic used by emotional manipulators to make you feel bad for doing things like going out with friends, staying late at work, or just taking some time for yourself.
What can you do if you have an emotionally manipulative partner?
First, remind yourself that your feelings are valid. Remember who you are, and don't let that person tear down your self-confidence.
If you want to stay and try to work things out, let your partner know how you feel and try to come up with a solution for creating better communication.
However, not all relationships are safe or healthy. Recognize that your mental health is most important, and know when you need to leave a potentially harmful situation. If you find it impossible to create better communication, or the person is constantly belittling you or making you feel insecure, get out. Talk to family and friends and create a support system during your transition to being without that partner.
The most important thing is to never blame yourself for their actions. You are not responsible for their actions.
Emotional Abuse Hotline: 1-800-621-HOPE (4673)
