“Orange is the New Black” returned with its fourth season on June 17, and most of us immediately binge-watched the entire thing, having been deprived of our favorite inmates for a year. After the less-than stellar third season, we’d been waiting with a mix of anticipation and worry, hoping that the show could regain its footing and return to the greatness of seasons one and two. Not that season three wasn’t great—it was still “Orange is the New Black”—but I think most of us agree it was a bit of an anti-climactic letdown after the drama of season two. Fortunately, season four more than delivered, and most of us still haven’t recovered from it. Here are the emotional stages the rollercoaster that was season four sent on us—spoilers ahead, obviously.
1. Excitement
“Orange” is back! “Orange” is back! Drop everything you’re doing and prepare for the Netflix marathon of the summer, because we have to know what happens to Alex and what the aftermath of Lake Day is, and we have to know now. Plus, we’ve all been without the ladies of Litchfield for a year, and we’re going through withdrawal.
2. Slight Concern, Followed By More Excitement
Ok, so Alex is all right—but she definitely just had to kill a guy. A guard, no less. We’re worried about her, and how she’ll deal with the ramifications of that—but we’re also still just super stoked that “Orange” is back, and every time another favorite character pops up for the first time (like Frieda being a badass, as usual), we just go right back to being excited for the new season.
3. Growing Concern, Plus Frustration
Piper is being waaaaay worse than usual—we all know this
white supremacist schtick isn’t going to end well. And where is Sophia? What’s
happening to her? We don’t know for sure, and we’re concerned. Also, Ruiz is
starting to scare us—doesn’t she want to get out so she can see her daughter
again? Why start a prison gang now,
Ruiz? And Nicky is back! But she’s in a bad way—not the drugs, Nicky! Think
of Red! Also, some of these new guards seem a little sketchy…
4. Horror
Ok, at first we thought maybe Piscatella wouldn’t be that bad—he seemed committed to keeping everyone safe at the beginning of the season. But he did instigate that whole white supremacist movement, so maybe we should have seen his abuse of Red and Blanca coming. And OMG, we’ve never liked Piper, but she definitely didn’t deserve to have a swastika burned into her arm—and though it may have gotten her out of the neo-Nazi gang, it just made the others worse, since they think she’s a martyr now. Good lord. And the new guards—officially not just creepy anymore, some of them are full on sociopaths who never should have been allowed to set foot in that prison. Eternally feeling sympathy for Suzanne. This isn’t very fun anymore—but now we’re in it, and we’ve got to push through and see the ending. After all, season three ended with everyone splashing around in a lake—surely the finale will end on a high note?
5. We Are Dead Inside
Anybody who says they didn’t shed at least one tear when Poussey was murdered is lying. Basically, Taystee’s reaction to her death was our reaction. We’re in shock, we’re heartbroken, and the show will never be the same after this. If we weren’t so desperate to know whether or not Daya pulls the trigger, or if Healy’s going to be all right, or if Caputo gets his just desserts for snubbing Poussey and being a genuinely horrible warden (sidenote: major ick at his relationship with Linda), we’d be glad that we’ve got a year to cool off before climbing back on the “Orange is the New Black” emotional rollercoaster of pain.
