"Stop being so sensitive."
If you're an emotional person like I am, you have most likely heard this. But what is sensitivity? Definitions by the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary I most identify with include "the capacity of being easily hurt" and "awareness of the needs and emotions of others." When one thinks of sensitivity, they typically associate crying and assumptions of the person being weak. Although I do leak water from my eyes a lot, I do not view myself as a frail person, only sensitive.
My mom said when I was younger it only took telling me no for my toddler self to burst into hysterics. However, I was young, it was normal for a kid to have a crying fit for no reason. I hated doing the wrong thing from my youth in fear of being disciplined. I sobbed when an animal got yelled at in a movie, it was even worse when they died. "Marley & Me" had made me weep so much that I had to use my asthma inhaler. Innocent roast sessions with my friends and I would open up old insecurities with their joking taunts. Sappy moments such as vows being exchanged at a wedding make me cry. It could be seeing the beauty at an art gallery that would bring out some waterworks.
I don't really have any specific triggers. If I get too overwhelmed or feel like I have too much on my plate, I sink down. I think of my sensitivity almost like a panic attack: it can come in many different forms. I can tear up, wail for an extended amount of time, be silent, act on aggression, or experience the likes of an actual panic attack. Sometimes my sensitivity can vary, depending on certain factors. If I'm tired, hungry, or my hormones are just all over the place, my sensitivity to my own sensitivity heightens, meaning that I am more prone to being emotional. Us girls have all that experience when you cry over something trivial (even if you aren't a sensitive person) but then you get the period the next day and everything makes sense.
People who have known me for a long time or those who know of my overwhelming sensitivity, almost tread on glass around me. They are careful with their words as not to upset me but they don't realize the inevitable: I'm going to hurt anyway. Even good forms of criticism have an effect on me. I wish I could change this aspect about myself. However, those also aren't aware that even though I hurt easily, I can just as smoothly put a smile on my face and talk it out with myself in my head. When I went to therapy in my senior year of high school, my therapist told me that sensitive is strong.
Being sensitive means that I know when I am hurt and let it out right there and then instead of bottling up all my problems inside of me. I express my emotions as I am feeling them which is a great communication skill. My empathy is through the roof and I think that's why a majority of my friends come to me for advice or when they need a good cheering up. I have a deeper understanding for creative things such as art, acting, and architecture because I know how much dedication the artist has put into their piece.
My sensitivity is not a weakness, it is a strength.
