First and foremost, I don't mean to use the orthodox definition of "damaged" in this. I am not damaged goods. However, some things about me are damaged.
To the boy who fucked me up,
I hope that one day you can recognize not only what you did to me while we dated, but all things that happened afterward.
I shouldn't have to feel the need to apologize for my own emotions. Even when I know that they don't matter or that I'm overreacting; they do matter. They're mine! I'm entitled to feel and express them.
I shouldn't feel the need to shy away from others when they say certain things, and I sure as hell shouldn't have to think of you every time. I should be able to be complimented without hearing you saying it both to me and the girl you cheated on me with.
I shouldn't feel lied to when I'm being complicated. Nor should I feel as if I'm always walking on eggshells, even when I shouldn't.
I shouldn't always have a little voice in the back of my head asking if I'm overreacting. I shouldn't be scared of myself and I shouldn't talk myself out of good decisions out of fear it will end up the same as it did with you.
- Lois
Emotional abuse can come in so many different forms and it can have very damaging effects on people.
It comes in being isolated, ignored, gaslighted, and so much more. Never ignore warning signs in relationships.
Gaslighting is a very inclusive term to many kinds of emotional abuse. Essentially, it is where a partner will try you make you doubt your memory, perception, sanity, and overall, yourself.
Or, it can be much more pronounced. "If you do _____, then I will not be happy." This kind of manipulation is a twisted way to try to make people bend to certain wills and to shape behavior. If you felt the need to click this article, or to search warning signs, you need to take action.
Fortunately, more and more people are speaking out about domestic abuse. Whether through a hashtag, such as #MaybeHeDoesn'tHitYou
or through apps that make it easier to contact someone in the case of an emergency, like Aspire.
If you feel like you're in an abusive relationship, talk to someone. If it's emotionally or verbally abusive, talk to your partner with someone else present if you feel comfortable. No one deserves to be put down by those they love. Or anyone.