I have changed a lot in college, almost completely for the better.
I have changed the most in the last year or so, most definitely for the better. This last year has not been without its challenges, and that's true for everyone. I have persevered and kind of gotten it together, to an extent. I am doing well in school. I've made friends and been involved. I am dependable and a hard worker, and that is something I always want people to think of me. I'm someone who will always say yes to whatever they need and get it done 1000%. However, when I was thinking about this summer, it got me to thinking about my life and how I wanted it to go. I always find myself thinking "I can't wait till I can…"
This summer, I am done waiting.
I am choosing me and what I want. I'm going to say yes to others just a little less and start saying yes to me a whole lot more. Not just the "crazy" stuff, but for the little things, too. I am working to find a better balance of who people want me to be and who I want to be. Whether it's something small or monumental, I'm not waiting to start doing the things I dream about. Whether it's for more time, a better time, a bigger savings account, or for people who match my energy and what I want, I'm done waiting. I don't want to blink and have spent my whole life waiting to do the things that excite me.
I want to say yes and do things that scare me, even if I'm doing them alone.
I want to travel and dance until 3 AM and take that spontaneous road trip that doesn't make sense. This summer I'm going to Vegas and The Grand Canyon with one of my best friends, because I've always wanted to go. I'm moving to Montana by myself for two months to work as a waitress, because why not? I've booked a solo trip for next summer to Italy and The Greek Islands, because I want to see the world before I'm too old to enjoy it. I know that the pandemic has changed a lot of things for everyone, I've been unemployed from the same restaurant three times in the last twelve months, and I plan to do things as safely as possible and I am excited to see the country and the world come back to life as more and more people are vaccinated. This summer will be full of life and new experiences and this is just the beginning for me. I want to make choices like this and live like this for the rest of my life. I will continue to work hard to make these things happen for myself, because I can't for someone to hand it to me. I want to choose to do the things that make me happy, and make me a little afraid (in a good way). I am choosing me this summer because, in the wise words of Donna Sheridan (Mamma Mia! fans please stand up),
"Life is short, the world is wide, and I want to make some memories."