In my adult life, the Lord has taught me so much about what it means to be different.
In a very vulnerable way, I want to tell you a little about myself, and how my self-consciousness has allowed me to see others in a very different light.
When I was born, I was a little different. I have what is called Poland Syndrome, a rare disorder affecting approximately one in 10,000 people. I was that one. It is a condition categorized by the National Organization of Rare Disorders as the absence of chest wall muscles on one side of the body (usually the right) and abnormally short, webbed fingers of the hand on the same side.
This is a congenital disorder, and from day one of my life it has affected me.
I had surgery at birth to remove the webbing of my fingers and skin grafts to make things look a little neater. I, like any toddler, wasn't really aware of my distinction...but going to school changed things. There were several conversations had about what my "disability" inhibited. I couldn't play certain sports, I was dominantly left-handed, I couldn't do push ups and pull ups, and some even wanted to say my mental capability was affected (they were wrong).
There were obviously kids in my class who couldn't accept that I was different, and I was bullied. There were jokes made—and still are. I get funny looks, handshakes are really awkward, and people choose not to ask because it's uncomfortable to question someone's distinction.
I was okay with being different, but when other people tell you it isn't okay, you start to believe them. It changes you. When you shake someone's hand and they look at you funny, or make a comment about how you have baby hands...it affects how you feel about yourself. When you go to get a manicure and the ladies grab your hand and call their friends to look at it, it changes you. When you are just doing normal things where your hands become noticeable and people stare really awkwardly, it makes you think differently about yourself.
For a really long time, I believed the people who said it was weird. I judged myself the way that people who don't know my story judged me. I couldn't believe that my "disability" was okay.
But it is.
Since I have come to at least like my distinction, I have fallen in love with other kids who have a special need.
When we as society say "special needs," we think of people that have down syndrome or those who cannot speak or walk or "do life" effectively.
Honestly, that's just wrong.
I personally think we all have a special need. Some of us need our moms to effectively do life, some people need a wheelchair, some need caffeine, others need a computer to communicate for them or sign language, and some just need people to accept them.
Special needs in our society is almost a bad word. People are fearful to talk about it and ask questions because of the stigma we have created for it.
I have personally fallen in love with "special needs." I was a nanny for a family with two children that had a social/mental disability, and now I am spending my summer being a buddy to a guy with down syndrome.
I wish people would conquer their pride and social awkwardness and get to know people who are a little different than themselves.
I in no way have fully come to terms with my distinction, and I partially blame society. It's hard to accept yourself when those around you say you aren't normal. However, in my years of dealing with my disability, I have learned what it means to make other people feel normal. It stinks when you can't fully be yourself, so my goal is to love people because they are created distinctly for a purpose. They are, just like you and me, a masterpiece. Created by God for good good work.
My goal in writing and sharing this is that maybe we as a society, as believers, as students, workers, etc.. will get past the awkwardness of society, get over our own sense of pride, accept that we all have a "special need", and learn to see people through a lens that see a masterpiece, not a person with two different size hands or down syndrome or an eating disorder. We all have something that sets us apart from society. We all have one thing that makes us a little awkward and weird and different than the standard. Who cares?
I personally think discussions are the best way to get past the negative connotations we have made as a society. I hope that you gain perspective in reading this, and that your mind is open to new people.
And I pray that after you read and soak it in, you can embrace your own personal distinction.