Dear me,

20 was a roller coaster of a year. I've lost friends, made plenty of mistakes, but grew in more ways than I ever could've imagined. The year of 20 was not the best nor the worst year I've had yet, but it was the most mind boggling, confusing, but exciting year I've had thus far.

Never let fear decide your future.

I've always been the type of person to shy away from leadership responsibilities. I have an opinion (a very strong opinion, matter of fact) but I hardly voiced it in fear of being mocked or being ridiculed. I felt like I was always talked over or my opinion didn't matter. The year of 20 changed that. I took on the role of president of the social work club at my school. It frightened me because of my past fears, but I'm in the process of learning and that's all that counts. I am tired of letting my fear try to have a say in my future. On the horizon of my 21st birthday, I see many leadership opportunities that I will grasp and learn through. I won't let fear decide my future.

Not everyone in your life is your friend.

It took me 20 years to realize that not everyone is my friend. I'm the type of person to walk up to a total stranger and talk with them like I've known them my whole life. I've realized not everyone has good intentions. Some people will use you for their own benefit and will leave you feeling drained in the end. Even the people you've known and trusted for years will not have good intentions. I've learned that when I get a bad feeling about somebody, to trust my gut instinct and let that person go. Family members are sometimes highly toxic when you are making decisions. I'm the black sheep of my family. Sometimes it's very frustrating because they all have the same views or opinions, but it's also very refreshing because I know I'm staying true to myself, my values, and not conforming to other people's ideas or ways. For the year of 21, I plan on making wonderful new friendships and celebrating the old friendships. I plan to love the people in my life beyond measures and to make sure they know they're loved

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

Overthinking has always been my biggest problem. When I over think, I tend to create a problem that's not even there. I have a history of depression and anxiety and sometimes those thoughts like to take a visit in my mind. I've learned that I'm the only person I can depend on for happiness. Sure, my boyfriend, family, and friends make me very happy, but at the end of the day I only have myself. You should be your own best friend and celebrate yourself. There is only one of you in the world and if that isn't a wonderful thing, then what is? I'm unique, caring, sassy, fabulous, ambitious, and young. The world is my canvas and I'm holding the paint brush. Even on the bad days, I always pick out something I like about myself. It's up to me to create my own masterpiece.

You are the author of your own life story.

I have this quote plastered all over my dorm room. I live by this quote. Even through everything that has happened to me, I'm still holding the pen and writing down the best possible story for myself. I have to learn that the story won't be perfect. I'll make mistakes, cry, break down, people will be mean to me, etc. It's like I'm writing my life story in pen and I can't go back to erase my mistakes. The key is to be at peace in your life and to who you come in contact with. Everyone's fighting a battle you know nothing about, so it's important to be kind. On the verge of my 21st birthday, I wish myself all the happiness and life lessons in the world. I'm sure the year of 21 will be rough, crazy, but also a beautiful learning experience. This is life and I'm living it to my fullest potential.